Mind

Anticipation Sickness.

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This combination of hope and anxiety can be crippling. And that’s anticipation sickness. Knowing the risk you take to hope at all, knowing what losing hope will feel like, how our way of seeing the world will be again challenged. It’s the fear and anxiety that overshadows joy. Hope is not a joyful feeling – hope is the gut-wrenching, white-knuckled sigh of the heartbroken, brave and vulnerable to look up, to say ‘Okay, let’s go again.’

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Welcome to the Lonely.

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And I remembered then; this is the Lonely. There was something within me longing to be heard; but the one to hear was not with me.

So I let it sit, let it dwell with me for the day. Loneliness becomes a more tolerable companion as soon as you acknowledge its presence, I’ve found. I let others assume the reason for my quiet reticence that day and then in the evening, alone in the quietness of my room, I said to the Lonely, ‘Thank you for today and good night.’ I will not be any more or less lonely simply because I might one day share my Lonely with another. They will not be able to banish the lonely, but they may share it.

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It’s How We Fight, Not Just Why.

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Most of us only have one, maybe two fight modes. If those fight modes are not constructive, then conflict is likely to be unhealthy, rather than something we can work through to achieve greater understanding, harmony and intimacy. If you can learn to evolve your fight modes over time, you can become a better communicator through conflict. You can grow from it. If you get stuck in an unconstructive fight mode, you might well be doing damage unwittingly.

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Letting Go Of The Past.

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When I let that uncertain, insecure woman come back, I am adrift in unsteady reflections – looking to the faces of others to see myself, instead of the mirror within. I like the woman I see in that internal mirror, I know her well by now. She is a dear and mysterious friend, a warm lover and a fiery ally. She is certain, she is steadfast, she knows herself. She is giving, passionate, soulful. I want her to be known.

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Why Men And Women Must Be Friends.

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Our sex-addled brains that need this truism more than anything else – that friendship between men and women, friendship itself is possibly the most vital human interaction in society today. There may come a time, though hard to imagine, when my body is too old and stiff for sex or I have simply lost the desire for it. I will be lonely then, as I am lonely now. It is my friend who quells my loneliness.

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How To Have An Imperfect, Less Stressful Christmas.

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Christmas’ dirty secret is that there’s no such thing as a universally perfect Christmas. In fact, we rarely talk about the anger, tension, stress and emotional turmoil that so many go through in trying to meet a perfect myth. So, it’s December 28th. You have 360 days, give or take, to work on new strategies for a less angry, sad, lonely, bitter, stressful Christmas next year.

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