by tashmcgill | Dec 10, 2013 | Church, Spirituality
We are well into the Advent season – the four weeks that count down into the celebration of Christmas; and the powerhouse months of the liturgical calendar that follow.
For many of us, our days and nights are quickly becoming consumed with Christmas shopping, elevator music version of carols and songs that may not have been that good to start with. Christmas services, family dinners, gift exchanges and the ongoing advertising that seems to have once again, started earlier than ever.
A friend and I are engaged in healthy discussion at present – because I love Christmas, and the opportunity it offers to talk about the wonder of the miraculous in the everyday. He is not such a fan of Christmas, at least, the over-commercialised and sanitised version, both advertisers and the Church is at times guilty of presenting.
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by tashmcgill | Dec 6, 2013 | Church, Spirituality, youth ministry, Youth Work
I’ve been reflecting recently, on a number of problems I see or experience in the Church (global). In my vocational work, we wouldn’t call these problems. We’d call them opportunities, a chance for someone, somebodies or some new method to get involved in creating a better outcome.
As I was thinking about the various ‘opportunities’ I can see around me, I realized a lot of these ‘opportunities’ have been sitting in front of us for a while. Since I was a teenager at least, maybe even further back. I think these are opportunities to drastically improve the manner in which we do Church, community and generally go about our business.
Not all of these opportunities will seem initially apparent, but here’s my crack at the first one. Censorship. Let’s knock that one on the head. ‘What?’ I hear you say. ‘Censorship? But how else do we keep our minds and hearts and eyes pure, the eyes are the windows to the soul.” Yes, you’re right. (more…)
by tashmcgill | Dec 5, 2013 | Church, Culture & Ideas, Spirituality
To anyone else watching that Saturday night, we were just two women, obviously friends, walking along a bridge – talking furiously, taking photos for tourists and watching the world go by.
But really, amongst the laughter and shared memories – we were clinging to one another. My dear friend and I are undesirably separated; first by an ocean and then by lives no longer conducive to near constant communication. So these moments together were precious, more precious than words can aptly describe or pictures display.
We’re both real women – one married, one not. Both in creative, unusual occupations, both smart, compassionate and both lonely for authentic expressions of womanhood in our everyday lives. Both leaning on each other to find a roadmap through this life and spirituality that honours our beliefs, our character and our relationship with God. Neither of us certain of where we fit or find a place in the Church as we know it, without having to compromise or apologise for something of our being.
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by tashmcgill | Sep 24, 2013 | Church, Community, Culture & Ideas, Spirituality
“I want to see us become a family, the body of Christ become a home for the world.”
I’ve had a dream for my life as long as I can remember. Not a daydream or a wishful thinking kind of dream, but an actual dream that comes in the night, whether the darkness is quiet or full of storm.
It comes sometimes only once a year, sometimes every week. It is often inspired by absence as much as by presence.
In this dream, I live in a big house with wide windows that slide right open, just over from a large table and a big kitchen that opens to the whole living space. The table is surrounded by mismatched chairs and the light is warm, gentle. The room is full of life.
In that house, I am constantly talking, listening, laughing and cooking. I am endlessly wrestling with children’s happy embracing and high-pitched giggling. There is always someone just arriving to join the table. There is always someone being welcomed and I always wake, feeling that I have come home.
What can it mean, that after all these years, my dream is the same? (more…)
by tashmcgill | Feb 5, 2013 | Church, Spirituality, Youth Work
Honesty is always the best policy, except for all the occasions on which honesty will cost you almost, if not absolutely everything. This is true in a number of places but mostly true in church. This is surprising, considering the enormous effort we invest in trying to help young people feel confident to “be themselves”.
A week ago, I wrote a couple of very honest blog entries on My Fear Of Failure and Frustration: The Agonizingly Slow Pace of Transformation. I loved the comments, feedback and a dozen or so emails and Facebook messages I received from people sharing their thoughts and stories. One friend said “I just thought, wow, Tash is being really vulnerable.”
That comment both graced me and irked me, as I’ve previously taken pride in my ability to be honest and vulnerable. Yet, on reflection – I remembered another conversation just a couple of weeks ago. In passing, I made a statement that was truthful, but sharp.
Me: “Oh, was that a little too honest? I may have crossed the line.”
Him: “No, it was fine – better it be said and heard, than thought and not spoken.”
Me: “Well, you know me – never one to hold back an opinion if given the opportunity.”
Him: “Maybe a few years ago, but if I was being honest, you haven’t been that honest for a long time.”
When Did I Stop Being Honest?
As soon as I learned how honesty could hurt me and that honesty wasn’t always acceptable. And then I realized that I learned to be dishonest in the Church. (more…)
by tashmcgill | Mar 19, 2012 | Church, Spirituality, youth ministry, Youth Work
The kids are rowdy and excitable this particular Friday night. It’s been a while since I made an appearance at our church community youth programme. Most of these students are between 10 and 15 years old, from a couple of local intermediate schools, friends of friends and a few church community folks as well.
I’m pretty stoked with how this little group is buzzing along – there’s lots of excitement and the leaders are enthusiastic, young and engaged. But I’m not sure they were quite expecting what I pulled outta the bag this youth group night.
For starters, I’m a big believer that when you’re the guest speaker, it’s way easier to go where the kids are, get them to show their colours a little bit and win them over by making sure they’re having fun. I don’t need them to listen to me talk for 30 mins – I want them to be engaged with each other, and with what I’m talking about for ten minutes.
The topic for the night is the one you always get a guest speaker for. It’s not the sex talk, that’s probably still six months away – but I’m talking about the difference between girls and guys, to a motley crew of middle school (intermediate) and junior high kids.
Here’s how it rolled out.
After a few games and snacks; it was “guest speaker” time. I busted the students out; boys on one side of the room, girls on the other. I gave them a couple of big sheets of paper, some pens and asked each group to draw/write/describe their ideal guy & girl. No surprise, the noise and laughter in the room exploded, but not before I gave the leaders some special instructions. Whatever happened, I wanted the groups to be as honest as possible.
About ten minutes later, the activity was done and we pinned those ideals up on the wall. I started out by talking about how everyone’s probably told them they’re at a critical stage of life and that they’re really kinda lucky – because there’s a lot of study going into what’s happening for them. Then I followed through by saying – some of this stuff is helpful for you to know, so you don’t feel caught out by surprise.
I pointed out a few differences between the way each group thought about the opposite sex, but also how they came up with the answers. Here are a few..
1. The girls used dozens and dozens of words to describe their ideal guy & girl; the boys put almost all their energy into drawing rather than words.
2. The boys described lots of activities, the girls lots of qualities.
3. The girls thought the ideal guy had to have tattoos, the boys thought the ideal woman wouldn’t have any tattoos.
4. The boys described the ideal girl as being someone who loved video games, sport, didn’t take too long in the bathroom, wasn’t grumpy and like hanging out with their friends. The girls responded by saying “your ideal girl is just a guy that looks like a girl!”.
Then we talked all the stuff it could mean, as well as some other development facts to reassure them what normal can be. I’m a big fan of reassuring people when you’re doing any kind of adolescent development talk.
The boys asked a really insightful question: “Why is it when girls are hanging out at school, when a guy walks past them, they all stop talking? And how come girls can be so mean to each other?” I thought that was a great opportunity to talk about the differences between how guys and girls compare themselves to each other. That girls often compare negatively but guys can compare in an affirming way. It was a fascinating conversation.
Then it was time to wrap up the night, with a few more laughs – especially with those boys that had decided Megan Fox was the ideal woman. I was done, and they were off.
It was in the wrap-up afterwards, that I realized a bunch of those young leaders may well have been taken by surprise with the one thing missing. I didn’t mention Jesus, God or God’s creation or sex. I eliminated all the “typical” elements of a Christian youth group Guys & Girls talk. Did you notice it?
Sometimes I think it’s way too easy for us to put a Jesus #hashtag on everything we do in youth group, as if it makes broomball spiritual, or somehow makes what we say to young people more relevant and meaningful. But I suspect, it’s part of what inoculates young people to where and when spirituality might be relevant. So sometimes, I think you can be more meaningful without tagging Jesus in as an after-thought.
What do you think?
