friends

Can I Keep You?

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Maybe the living, breathing you. Maybe just a memory of you. A life of caveats leaves no room for surprise. No room to change the rules and I am, by nature, a rule changer. Not a breaker, as much as a changer. I like the flexibility to change the expectations. Who says some things are unforgivable or that things must go a certain way?

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Welcome to the Lonely.

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And I remembered then; this is the Lonely. There was something within me longing to be heard; but the one to hear was not with me.

So I let it sit, let it dwell with me for the day. Loneliness becomes a more tolerable companion as soon as you acknowledge its presence, I’ve found. I let others assume the reason for my quiet reticence that day and then in the evening, alone in the quietness of my room, I said to the Lonely, ‘Thank you for today and good night.’ I will not be any more or less lonely simply because I might one day share my Lonely with another. They will not be able to banish the lonely, but they may share it.

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You Love Fewer People Than You Think.

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You love fewer people than you think you do. And, if you need permission to care less about some, in order to love others better – this is it. Feel free to hit delete. Caring is enough, if caring is what you have to offer. But caring cannot get in the way of Love. You’ve got permission to gather yourself back from the hundreds of little connections draining your batteries.

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When Your Friend Finds A Lover.

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In any of those circumstances, there is a season where your friend is lost to you, replaced by a creature called ‘Stranger That Knows Your Deep Secrets’. Your secrets, once shared in trust between the two of you are now the shared property of your friend and their lover. You have to re-introduce yourself and hope they are equally as trustworthy. You have to hope that they choose to love you, as you choose to love them.

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Why Men And Women Must Be Friends.

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Our sex-addled brains that need this truism more than anything else – that friendship between men and women, friendship itself is possibly the most vital human interaction in society today. There may come a time, though hard to imagine, when my body is too old and stiff for sex or I have simply lost the desire for it. I will be lonely then, as I am lonely now. It is my friend who quells my loneliness.

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Love Your Provocateurs Again, Church.

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In the last 20 years, the NZ Baptist church has bred and housed some amazing theologians, community leaders, creatives and philosophers. What I noticed last weekend was how they were missing from the shopfront. I saw lots of people excelling in their work – but they used to have prophets and provocateurs around them and beside them. They were the ones I called on, wrestled with and relied upon. Where have they gone?

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