PACIFIC SONG

PACIFIC SONG

Oh I can hear you at my door
I can hear your roar
But I’m not remotely close
To caving in and heading home 
Still it’s not enough oh I need more
Need to feel you on my skin again 
Oh I’ll slip in on the dawn
Not too many nights from now
Feel you under my toes
And on my skin again
Home sweet sea and mountain
While I’m here in the dark
Stark black water on a pier
I can stand out in the pacific
you’re in sunlight to the west of me 
Still it’s not enough oh I need more
Need to feel you on my skin again

Homeward Bound.

Posts sitting in the drafts….

1. A New Way to Gather Together.
2. Why I’ll Probably Never Meet Don Miller.

But for now…

homeward bound for the six o’clock
cos there’s nowhere left to go
i have climbed every hill on the path
taken every detour
still I’m unsatisfied
and i’ll be seeing you again
for the first time in some months
will you still want to know my name?
and what I did today?
where I’m going to – who could say
i don’t think anybody knows
except to say I’m homeward bound
back to the anchor of the blue pacific
back to the land i left behind
and all the faces there
all  the roads i know so well
still I’m unsatisfied
and i’ll be seeing you again
for the first time in some months
will you still want to know my name?
and what I did today?
where I’m going to – who could say
i don’t think anybody knows
except to say I’m homeward bound

did you ever love me?
ever really love me?
for i loved you

you with all your older, wiser, always knowing better
condemning all my youthful, ideal hopes
convincing me that you were right
i subjugated all my life… for i loved you, i really loved you.

i thought that we could grow together, surely somewhere
there would be some moment where you saw me
you really saw me and believed
these things i knew and know are right… for I loved you, i really loved you.

i hoped we would be friends by now, you would’ve softened sooner
perhaps have learnt some grace for all your years
but i know that things are done forever
we can never be repaired.. although i loved you..

did you ever love me?
ever really love me?
oh, i loved you.

if one day you came to me contritely, not even pride
would hold me back I would embrace you – for I loved you –
and i have always acknowledged I was young and thereby foolhardy enough
to have something to learn but also teach you
i could have taught you so much – for i loved you –
enough to have the patience it took for all those years
to love you and to teach you
i wonder
do you remember anything I taught you

did you ever love me?
ever really love me?
oh, i loved you.
i loved you.
will you love me again, one day?

The River.

Love is deep. The Love is the deepest refuge and safe recluse I know.
My home is in the river.

to you my love
my heart goes swimming on the deep oceans
life in the compassionate way
discontent in your solitude;
observing silences and tragedies
small delicacies and sweet words –
they fall into the ears of young lovers
and my heart swims out to yours,
on the tide with the ebb and the flow
of the rise and fall of your love.
the grandness of a philosophy
of beauty and trust
but my wise old heart lives
under the clouds and weather of
suspicious truth with clarity
in a goblet overflowing, pouring with wine.
i breathe and sigh and wait
knowing the blindness and straight
arrow of desire
wondering what river i will live
and die in for the sake of this
for you, my Love

A Psalm Of My Own (40).

verse
There’s a darkness in me
There’s a shadow
A fear that sometimes takes hold
It leads me right out to the desert
Where I face the winds alone
But you always lead me home
Despite the storms that roar
You love me well
In darkness I am held
By hands that hold the world
You never let me go

chorus
You are light
The glorious light

verse 2
You take everything broken
Redeem it
My imperfect heart make whole
Everything beautiful reveal it
And all by your glorious light
And you always lead me home
Despite the storms that roar
You love me well
In darkness I am held
By hands that hold the world
You never let me go

chorus
You are light
The glorious light
You are light in the darkness
You are radiant glorious light

Oh my soul, fly to that resting place
Where peace is found before my Father’s grace
Be still and know, that He is God
No darkness can quench His light