by tashmcgill | Jan 9, 2015 | Leadership, Strategy
My ambition and my ability are not often in alignment. One exists in my present reality and one is beckoning to me from the future. Thankfully, I can change my present to get to the future.
Ambition is like a call. An innate sense of who and what I am or intend to be. It’s as much part of my blood and mindset as my DNA markers. What I desire or imagine becoming is vital to my sense of purpose and identity. So I don’t work on changing my ambition but I can improve my ability to achieve those ambitions.
Everything between where my current ability sits and what is required to achieve my ambition is simply the process of Becoming. Becoming the person who can achieve it. Simple.
Becoming is the most important task in all of this and yes, it can be the most daunting. The trouble is that we expect to find a straight forward process and follow a set pattern. We’re just not wired that way – unique and individual, we can learn from the becoming process of others, but we each need to follow our own journey. So here are a few tips on where to begin.
- Accept that true growth isn’t linear. Growing of any nature doesn’t happen at a slow, steady pace. It’s really not like working at a university degree, pace by pace as you go. Much like through childhood, growth comes in fits and starts, sometimes taking the long way round and other times shooting up fast as an arrow. You have to grow towards your ambition and it won’t likely be a straight line path. Get into a learning posture and accept that there will be curve balls along the way. The attitude you take towards personal growth is as important as the growing.
- Understand the difference between your goals and your overall ambition. We confuse ambition and goals all the time. A goal is something we want to do, an ambition is much closer to the person we want to be. My ambition is to become someone who helps people think well. If we change the way that people think about themselves, their relationships and our communities. I believe that when we change the way we think and approach problems, we can make more significant change to our world. My goal is to be a great communicator. There’s a difference here, between the what, who and the how.
- Embrace your ambition. In some parts of the world (New Zealand for example) we are intimidated by ambition. Our increasingly egalitarian view of the world struggles to separate an ambition from a desire for personal gain. It’s the stereotypical characteristics of ambition that we dislike – ideas that an ambitious person will be self-seeking, ruthless, untrustworthy in a team, always looking for opportunities to improve their position, climb further up the ladder. In other parts of the world, the attitude towards ambition is more positive. Ambition is a driving force that people can gather and collaborate around. Those who are ambitious are encouraged in their ‘Becoming’. Embrace the future-forward focus ambition gives you and surround yourself with people who can embrace it also.
- Pursue Self-Awareness. Do everything you can to learn about yourself, what you’re good at and strategies for improving and increasing your ability. Look for opportunities to learn what you do not know by keeping a close watch on the skills and talents of those you interact with. Surround yourself with people who have different and diverse skills from you. Learn from them – learn how they learn, how they teach, how they interact. Adapt, adopt and incorporate anything useful that fits your natural style. Understand your natural operating strengths by reading and practising.
- Use these practical tools for developing self-awareness:
Myers-Briggs Temperament Indicator.
Clifton StrengthsFinder.
Use the Johari Window exercise to get a sense of how you perceive yourself alongside how others perceive you. Engage with the unknown and the alignment gaps you discover.
- Behave as if you already have the ability to match your ambition. The other word for this is ‘Practice’. This is not free-for-all permission to become arrogant and over-confident but if your ambition is to be someone who teaches and educates, begin teaching as you go. If your ambition is to be a great team builder, start building teams. You’ll likely fail. That’s a vital part of the growing process. You won’t become a great novelist by publishing a book, you have to practice writing and character development first. So practice, whatever it is you hope to become on a daily basis.
by tashmcgill | Oct 26, 2014 | Culture & Ideas, Leadership, Mind, Strategy
It’s Friday night at 6.01pm. I’ve just clocked out 43 hours in a 4 day work week. I’m about to go to dinner to celebrate a friend’s birthday. I’ve managed to see friends a couple of times this week, smashed fewer than usual gym sessions but still lost weight. I’ve meditated, left room for spiritual things and even caught up on a favourite TV show. I’ve eaten right, but not too right. I’ve been well-behaved but not too well-behaved. I even managed to do an early morning daycare run for one of my best friends; playing aunty to their 2 year old girl. And I’m telling you honestly, if this is my life, this is not enough.
This is not about being too busy. This is not about being tired or trying to achieve higher heights at work. This is not about the tension between the corporate career life I’m in and the not-for-profit, youthwork and hospitality life I love. This is not to complain because I know I’m blessed. It’s not because I’m lonely or pining for what I don’t have. I am wringing the marrow out of life on a daily basis. But this is not enough.
I live between two conflicting philosophies; one that compels me to use whatever I’ve got in my hand to do whatever is in front of me and the other, calling my attention to the horizon and all the possibilities beyond it. One hand holds tight and says, ‘be good, be useful’. One hand reaches out towards what might be and says, ‘be more, do more’.
I have to get comfortable telling the truth, to myself as well as others.
No matter how hard I work at my job and how much better I can be, or how much I achieve,
(with strengths and weaknesses)
No matter how rich and deep the social circle,
(too good already)
No matter the gracious chance to love other people’s kids,
(I’m so grateful)
No matter how healthy or strong or skinny I might become,
(with all the trappings of vanity)
This is not enough.
I am a Futurist, as well as a few other things. I’m always looking to the future possibilities and trying to figure out how to get there. But that’s not why this is not enough. It’s not enough because these things are meaningful for other people, not for me.
I’ve come to know that I work better when I am part of a team, because I find meaning in the dependency that we have on one another. It propels me forward. It gives me a story to tell, a story that is ours. It’s not always easy to form a team or to form a team that has shared meaning and story but it’s even harder to be one person who’s lost the meaning of their own story.
I once had a singular focus and ambition and I’ve spent a few years now trying to find my meaning in other stories and in new places only to circle back around.
I can only imagine that this is close to what some mothers feel, when their careers and life paths change to centre around newborn babies and growing children. A re-orientation, losing a sense of self while becoming part of a new team. Sudden, the story of our kids tends to be centre stage.
So this, what defines my life right now – is not enough, simply because it’s not the story I want to tell at the end of my days. Or even today. The meaning I’m after (the ambition that has simply been buried and biding it’s time) is still the same. The values that drive me are still deep at the core of who I am and the story I want to tell.
I wrote a collection of these lines in 2008:
there are the dark days
that cloud the mind right from the start
there are the eulogies i compose
melodies i’ve learned to sing
by heart when i’m alone
afraid my life might be a song of sorrows
unless i find the meaning
there is a quietness that i have never shaken
a terrifying absence and conviction
that most of what i dream will never come to pass
i imagine life too big before i start
but my ambition is to make a difference
as large a one as i might ever conceive
if my name is never known
the ambition is the same
i’d make a difference in your heart
i’ve read ten thousand names
and whispered them aloud
i’ve spent long nights awake
perfecting every part
i’ve listened to the heartbeat
of a thousand lives
and heard the same refrain
and my ambition is to make a difference
collecting all the stories my life is made of
and if i could somehow remember all their names
my ambition was to make a difference
and their names would make the finest start
The truth is, I do want more. Maybe it’s because I want to have children of my own to invest in and it could be that’s selfish. But I also want to make a difference to the world at large. I don’t want or need fame, but I crave influence – to enable change for the many. I’m ambitious enough to believe I could do it. In fact, in my deepest secret self, I believe I’m meant to, somehow, be part of something bigger and more significant than my life alone.
At high school we completed the clichè ‘write your own eulogy’ assignment. I wrote simply, ‘She made us think differently.’
I still want that, and so this is not enough.
