Letters From America: Stay Or Leave

Letters From America Stay Or Leave

From: Natasha McGill

Sent : Monday, 18 October 2004 5:08:14 a.m.

To : tashmcgill@maxnet.co.nz

Subject : Letters From America Stay Or Leave

Stay or Leave, I want you not to go, but you must.

Leaving Nashville was a traumatic experience! Dani and I went to Demos’ the steak and spaghetti house for dinner. It was delicious, although Americans look at me funny when I order my steak medium-rare. Weirdos. I had the most divine pepper steak in a sherry and pepper reduction, served smothered in chargrilled peppers, onions and chili. Served with a side of spaghetti alfredo.. mmm. Yummy. Although I must admit that I am hankering to get back into the kitchen myself. There is a certain sense of humility that I need to regain by preparing my own food I think.

So .. like I said leaving was traumatic. Firstly, I was scheduled to leave at 7am. That got rescheduled, and then delayed. Then I missed the connection in Washington DC because of the delay and ended up there for another few hours. Having been up at 5am to get to the airport, I was tired and sore and homesick by the time I finally arrived at my seedy little hotel on the West Side by 9pm. So I’ll be honest. Arriving in New York tired, hungry, with no idea really of where you are going, in the dark, rainy remnants of some tropical storm.. is just not a good way to start.

So I had a good cry and called Mum, who told me to buck up my courage, have a good sleep and then get out there. I called Danielle too, and said .. ‘why did I leave?’. I decided I didn’t like travelling by myself, and even the excitement of getting out into the Big Apple was not going to cut it for me. There was this weight like concrete bricks in my stomach, and the smokey, dirty, dusky smell of the joint I’m staying in was not helping. Honest to truth.. I had such a good time with my uncle and Valarie in Indianapolis, I seriously thought about just getting on a plane back there until my flight left on Monday.

I felt pretty miserable yesterday morning too, but finally decided that I just needed to get over it. So I did. A couple of phonecalls to spur me on into the day and there I was. So my seedy little dive doesn’t seem so bad in daylight.. in fact it feels super New York now. And I’m only three blocks west of Central Park, two blocks south of the subway to Midtown and Downtown, and that suits me fine.

So yesterday I fell in love with New York, uncovering her delights and treasures! Walking through the Strangers Gate off Duke Ellington Blvd I started to find my feet. There were trees and grass and birds. Hundreds of kids playing soccer and baseball, dads and kids bike riding and playing all over the place. The little hidden lakes and bridges are just as picturesque as they seem in the movies. I met a wonderful woman who walked through the park and to the Guggenheim Museum with me, and then showed me all the bus and subway routes I could be taking for the rest of my travels. She really was a bit of an angel. And now I totally understand why Central Park is regarded as the thing that makes the city livable for so many.

The Guggenheim is just stunning, as a piece of architecture alone. I happened to stumble into the opening weekend of the Aztec Empire exhibit. Which is kinda torturous, really. Because all you want to do with really really old things, is place your hands and fingertips where the centuries-gone Aztecs would have held these objects, where they would have crafted them from primitive chisel.. at least, that’s how I longed to connect. Same way with Pablo Picasso paintings. I longed to feel the rise and ridge of the paint under my fingers, emulating the way it would have felt coming off the brush.. it’s an intimate kind of a thing to see how closely involved a painter is with his work. I wasn’t the only one who lost in some trance-like admiration was moved to a tear or two.

The whole Guggenheim, bar some annexes, is a curving sloping spiral. Stunning to look at, in every direction, from the tiled circles on the floor to the ambient light from the skylight atrium. But it’s remarkably hard to feel balanced on, so whilst climbing and descending, your mind is only half on the art and displays, and half on keeping your balance.

From the Guggenheim, I caught a bus that took me all the way downtown to the South Ferry. This is the best kind of tour bus, because it only costs $2 and you brush through just about every little neighbourhood and village.. SoHo, Chinatown, Little Italy, The Financial District, just about all of Fifth Avenue, the library, more of the museums.

On just about every corner there are street vendors and newsstands, and all the I ‘heart’ NY tshirts you could dream of. Groups of people gathered on museum steps listening to beat poetry, and breakdancers in Bryant Park. The sight and colour is just amazing. So onto the Staten Island ferry I went. Staten Island you say? Well, here’s the deal.. In a city that is so full of tourists as well as actual city dwellers… I felt the need to not be one of those weirdos wearing a bumbag with a New York tshirt and a big-as camera. As with many things.. blending is the key. So I took the free Staten Island ferry that goes right past the Statue of Liberty, rather than the expensive tourist rides to Ellis Island. Sweet.

The harbour is unbelievably busy, ships, barges, ferries and cruiseships in all directions, not to mention the helicopters, going in and out from skyscraper rooftops, just like Trump Tower.

So getting back from the Island, just as the rain and dusk and dark started to set in, I jumped on the Subway, feeling like a true New Yorker as I bought my Metrocard and travelled uptown to Times Square. There I caught a movie, because I wasn’t able to get a ticket to a Broadway show. Good movie too. Then emerging after dark from the theatre.. I cruised up and down42nd street, the Broadway district, and past the broadcast homes of many tv stations etc etc.. lots of flashing lights. It’s kinda strange, because Times Square and the illustrious district around it all stops short west of 7th Avenue. There is a quad of four or five blocks west and four blocks south where there are no landmarks, or New York must-sees. It’s directly south of where I am staying, and at night you hear the sirens cutting through the smog and darkness into the distance. It’s called Hell’s Kitchen, and was kinda made notorious on a worldwide scale in a Nicolas cage movie, ‘bringing out the dead’. I imagine that it really is about as nasty as it was portrayed. All the lights and music, street performers stop, and the darkness carries on through to the Hudson.

I walked from Times Square down to Grand Central Station, which cannot be justice by my words. But it was really beautiful. The ceiling is the night sky, with constellations drawn in and lit up, the marble everywhere is stunning. Chandeliers fill the whole building with a warm, mellow light and the bars and music from the balconies make the whole experience quite enchanting. That’s something that ought to be captured in a movie.

On the way home in the subway, I came to thinking that in those moments, my world was really just as big as I could see in front of me. And that isn’t really very big at all. Maybe I was freaked out in New York, because I couldn’t see it in daylight, to understand it, or get my head around it. But I think I’ve got it now. I woke up this morning, excited and invigorated to get out into the day. And there are blue skies above me.

I walked to the Cathedral of St John the Divine, a Gothic-style building begun in the 1800’s that is still unfinished. It was glorious. The church is a vibrant part of the community, still holding worship services in the building. I like the fact that although the outside isn’t finished yet, the interior is finished just enough for them to be church, living and breathing. The gay couple who I met standing in front of the AIDS memorial were a poignant reminder of just how relevant faith and hope can be. And here I am in an internet cafe in Times Square, about to see a Broadway show. I’m going to the Lion King. Hear me Roar. But first.. I need to find a coffee.

Stay or Leave, I want not to go but I must. See you in NZ real soon.

Tash

Letters From America: Where Are You Going?

Subject: Letters From America Where Are You Going?

Fri, October 15, 2004 6:31 pm

Where are you going, where do you go? Are you looking for answers, to questions under the stars? If along the way you are growing weary, you can rest with me until a brighter day.

I’m off to New York after an exciting week in Music City. It’s gorgeous here, trolling around historic sites of the Civil War, not to mention all the country music places of renown, and the heart and soul of the CCM business.

It was nice to finally see the trees and the rolling hills of Tennessee. And the actual town areas are very cool. There is lots of village life here. The local Starbucks that Danielle frequents knows her name and drink, and this morning it was made before she even ordered it. That’s community living, I tell you.

And I finally found someone who could make the closest thing to a real coffee that I’ve had here. It’s cool being the one who introduces people to the flat white.

Now, when I say civil war.. I really mean it. It appears that for the most part, the whole of Franklin is actually a historic site. That probably has something to do with the Battle of Franklin. As you walk through the streets around the centre of town, there are dozens of old brick buildings formed in classic American architecture from the 1800’s. The stately white columns against red brick, combined with seasonal fall and harvest decorations, american flags and the red and gold splendour of fall… transports you to a place decades from where we are. As you walk past home bakeries and candle stores, the scents of cinnamon and pumpkim fill the air.

It seemed appropriate to journey just outside the main village centre to the Carnton Plantation, which is one of the foremost Civil War history spots. The plantation became an impromptu sort of field hospital during the battle, with the house being filled to the brim as the fighting continued, and then the wounded spilling out onto the lawn and surrounding areas. After the war, the plantation owner and his wifer, became so concerned with the decay of the Confederate graves.. shallow dug after the battle, that they dedicated two acres of the plantation and re-interred the fallen soldiers there. They kept records that assigned each identified soldier to his state, and when we walked through the graveyard, there were still fresh flowers alongside some markers. Some now ancient ancestor is still remembered. There had just been a commemoration for the war, and so the yard was filled with state and american flags.

Simple rows of stone markers against the lush green grass, the quiet of the cemetery felt older and somehow sacred, even though it’s not my ancestry or my freedom that was fought for or against. Still makes you respect this place, because of the deep connection that they have to their history and traditions.

Anyway.. Monday, it was great to venture into downtown Nashville. More specifically, we started at Broadway with lunch at Jack’s Bar-Be-Que. According to the Texan behind me, we were lucky enough to be dining at the only place outside of Texas that really knows what Bar-Be-Que is. The guy behind the counter prided himself on correctly assessing what our menu choices would be. And so I had brisket for the first tie in my life. Served with cornbread, and your choice of cream corn, green beans, fried beans etc etc. Then a collection of barbeque sauces to choose from. I was particularly impressed with the Smokey Kansas.

To be fair, credit for the choice for lunch belongs to Michael Todd. He’s a friend from Earthsuit days, who now works for another CCM band. It was cool to catch up with him, he and Dani were great tour guides around downtown Nashville, including a saunter past legendary bars with smokey and dusty stages, where legends were discovered and still play. Also paid a visit to Gruhn Guitars, just an experience of divine measure to see so many wellcrafted instruments in one place.

Danielle’s been working during the days, so the nights have been full of catching up and hanging out. It’s been so amazing how natural the whole thing has felt. We went to see Garden State that is just too perfect for words. Can I be so bold as to say, it’s a story of emergence that could be a metaphor for society or individuals.

Also watched Spiderman 2 on the IMAX screen and thought that the cars were crashing through the screen. EEks. I’ve done the driving tour of the houses of legends, as well as refined and defined the Triple A theory of Christian Music. Look for an expansion on that any day now. And.. the guitar voyage didn’t finish just with Gruhn Vintage, but continued to he Gibson factory, as well as the Gibson Showcase bar. You can also expect a shortlist of 101 Things To Remember When Playing To A Small And Unfamiliar Crowd. I think that one of the acts we saw needs to subscribe. #9.. Never, ever, whatever may come, give the audience a chance to tell you what they really think of your efforts.

Now that it’s so close to coming home, it feels both strange and comforting to think about it. I’m thinking about my couch, and my family, both the McLeans in the Big House and Mum and Co. I’m thinking about going up north and youth group when I get back. It will be good to see friends again, and sad to say goodbye to this place. There are a dozen things that I’ve simply run out of time to do, and so the plan is just to make the best of the last few days in New York. I’m off to have an adventure in the city that doesn’t sleep.

One of the defining moments of Tennessee was the thunderstorm just two nights ago. A hot and sweltering evening, that finally broke, with lightening forking through the sky, and thunder rolling it’s baritone through the hills. I slept with my window a little open that night, and felt the cool breath of an approaching winter on my cheek. It was different to the air in Florida, that was warm and soft like pyjamas you’ve just pulled out of the dryer. Here it whispers of all the glorious celebrations to come.. Fall, celebrated by Halloween, followed by Thanksgiving, then Christmas. And after all the celebration of what has been, and thanksgiving, prayers for what is to come, then they will celebrate New Year.

People here are good at celebrating. Good at remembering all that is good and right and worthy of celebrating about the big and small moments of life. So I am savouring and celebrating cornbread, and the smell of cinnamon candles. I’m enjoying all the moments that I can, and longing that this spirit of celebration will render itself into my soul as I voyage home.

Expect an installment of the Gospel, as living in New York.

Be Well

Tash

Letters From America: Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World

Letters From America Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World

From “Tash McGill”

Subject Letters From America Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World

Date Mon, October 11, 2004 9:01 pm

To tashmcgill@maxnet.co.nz

Ha! I hear you say.. that’s not a Dave Matthews Song… but technically it

counts for this email.. as you’ll figure out in a little while.

Sorry it’s been a little long between exciting updates.. but I’ve been so

busy out there in the world that I haven’t been anywhere near a computer.

So anyway.. we were up to the Architectural Rivier Tour of Cihicago. The

more the days drew on in Chicago, the more I fell in love with the city.

In all it’s colours and flavours. The river tour takes you through the

central parts of the city where the river has suffered at the hands of

industry. There’s not a single place along the river that you’d feel safe

to fall into .. the tour guide took pride in letting us know that the

status of the river had in fact improved from Toxic to merely Hazardous.

But it’s not the beauty of the river that’s meant to catch your eye.

Everything points up..

From the iron work on the raising bridges, to the architecture of steel

and glass, marble, granite, the transition from boxes to curves on

buildings.. everything draws your eye into what man has built alongside

the lake and river. And it’s nice to know where Sammy Sosa of the Corkied

Bat lives, as well as Oprah Winfrey. Also learnt a few old-time Chicago

stories.. like the start of the great fire that wiped out much of the city

in the 1800’s. The site of the barn has now been filled by the Chicago

Fire Acadeny. I’m not kidding. There is a sense of humour in Chicago. it

And as for it’s nickname, the Windy CIty.. it’s in fact due to it’s rich

and character-filled political history. More on Chicago legends.. there’s

Legends the bar and venue, which we drove past but didn’t go into, the

also famous Blue Chicago, that simultaneously exists in two places,

featuring some wicked acts in both. You want to be sure that you’re going

to the right one.

Also visited the Millenium Park, which sits on the shores of Lake

Michagan, and it makes me drool at the site of it’s outdoor arena sound

systems, and it’s aluminum sculpture that reflects the viewers and the

skyline of the city. Just across from there are two large LCD screens

encased in glasss brick towers, reflecting the brick of the city all

around. They play constant video footage of faces, smiling and staring at

one another across a shallow pond.

As they play, there are those young and old that pretend to be Jesus

walking on the water, splashing in the edges and waiting with anticipation

for the spitting tactics of these strange projections. It acts like a

fountain of sorts, but conveniently syncs with the video to produce the

spitting effect. Watching those who weren’t paying attention get soaked

was completely worth the wait.

A 180 degree turn has you facing across the street, to penthouse bars..

but more significantly, buildings where the brick and plaster facades are

starting to fade from their glory. Pieces missing from cornerstones,

window arches and decorative pieces give you a sense that this city is old

enough to deserve a little TLC around the edges. Maybe that’s the heart of

the reflective sculpture.. simply that the art and beauty of Chicago is to

be found in mirroring back her own image.

And that was just one Saturday.. here’s the rock’n’roll part.

Sunday the 3rd of October I flew to Detroit to catch an American political

rally, with My Morning Jacket, Jurassic 5, Ben Harper and the Innocent

Criminals and Dave Matthews Band. It was the most stunning experience.

It began as I flew into Detroit, home of the Big THree car manufacturers.

This is a blue collar, working class city. Those wearing white collar in

executive jobs live up to an hour outside the city and commute each day,

but the heart of the city lives on a factory clock, it gets up early,

relaxes hard and is a constant production force. I had a tour guide/cab

driver on the to the Palace.. who filled me in on the ethnic, political

and social history of Detroit, as well as himself. So we traded views and

ideas on Kerry, Bush and Hillary Clinton, and his own personal history.

We talked about the importance of the family name, and he let me know that his first ancestor off the boat from Sicily was named Joseph Barroni.

Consequently, to this day, he has 22 first cousins and one brother named

Joseph Barroni. He lucked out, and his parents named him Larry.

The show was incredible. For those that care, I was in the first floor,

sitting in the corner, so had an amazing view of backstage and the whole

front piece, as well as the light show and the screens. It was actual

perfect. No one in Detroit could understand my accent, but it really was

amazing. As a stage manager, I was in love with the crowd illuminators

that weren’t blinding, and the revolving stage. Dave broke 3 guitar

strings and had his tech working all night, with the exception of two

tracks, there was a guitar change between every song.

There are some little rituals that you don’t read about in interviews, or

see on DVD’s. Like the nod and handshake between Carter Beauford and DM after each track, or the particular grin when they nail something. It was amazing.. and then it got better.

Here’s where it all comes together.. Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World,

totally counts as a DMB song for the night because they played it. And

they played it with Neil Young. Live and In Concert, guitar solos

abounding, Neil’s gray hair was bobbing all over the stage. Talk about a

triple decker bonus. I was dying. I really couldn’t breathe. Only some of

you will understand the depth of my experience. That’s okay. Don’t feel

bad, just go and spend some time reading and listening in the Borders

Music Library to get a vibe for the mega influence of this artist.

So after the show.. I caught a shuttle back into downtown Detroit with a

Russian/Palestinian cab driver. Yeah. It was an interesting conversation

as well. He had spent 7 years in London and chose to live in Michigan

because of the climate.

From downtown Detroit, I caught the 12.45am Greyhound back to Chicago. The homeless guys hang out in the bus shelter until the last bus leaves (mine) and make conversation with weary travellers. There were collections of young guys listening to homemade mixtapes heading to find jobs in Chicago, women travelling to visit family, a couple of tranvestites.. and who knows what they were travelling for. A couple were in the rear of the bus making a valiant effort at concieving their 2nd child whilst the first slept. The bus rollled on through the night, finally delivering me back into downtown Chicago at 5am. I made it home via cab and train by about 6am.

Worth it? Hell yes. The quintessential American experience rolled into

fourteen perfect hours.

There were some scary moments, and moments where joy and emotion were riding so high that I didn’t have words. The loneliest part was just not

being able to share it, in the wordless way of eye contact and smiles that

you share an experience with someone. But maybe you want to find someone to share an experience with, and relive the setlist, enclosed below for your enjoyment.. I suggest a decent merlot or suitable beverage, some soft lights, turning the phone off and soaking in the goodness.

Sunday Oct 3 2004

Palace of Auburn Hills

One Sweet World

Granny

Don’t Burn The Pig

Joy Ride

Song That Jane Likes

(Extended Intro)

Don’t Drink the Water

Tripping Billies

Hello Again

Stay

Sugar Will

All Along The Watchtower

Cortez The Killer

Rockin in the Free World

__________________

What Would You Say

Too Much

— Oh… then I went on another voyage.. that’s next. Stay tuned.

Tash

Letters From America: Satellite

Well, I’m here… Music City USA. It’s Nashville, Tennessee and it’s gorgeous.

But first… there’s a few more adventures.

I left Chicago on Tuesday, and as the rest of the team were leaving to head back to NZ, I was in Indianapolis. Home of speedway, big trucks, corn, horses.. in fact, just about anything to do with money, speed and racing. But the reason I was there was much more important.

My uncle has been in Indianapolis for 14 years, and a couple of years in Iowa before that. And it was the first time in ten years that we were seeing each other face to face. I was so excited and nervous.. not sure how it would go. Lots of family stuff had happened in the last few years.

But everything was cool. Strange and awkward at first.. when you all of a sudden have to transfer the 14 year old girl memories into 24 year old woman thoughts and conversation. But before too long we got used to each other again. He has a particularly dry sense of humour that now I recognize in some of the people that I love… and now I know where I found my penchant for that sense of humour. Bingo.. so many questions answered!! Uncle John just doesn’t suffer fools .. and so one of the most frequent phrases you’ll hear is ‘They’re not right’. Sometimes if it’s a particularly perplexing situation, that’s closely followed by ‘Not even close’. Needless to say, catching up with family news and various aspects of life, involved lots of those phrases. Lots of laughs.

Uncle John surprised me with the coolest trip ever. Only in Indianapolis for one night, then he took me to Florida!! Land of warmth and humidity. But good humidity. It was great. Seafood every night, margaritas every night, in every flavour. He and Valerie took me to Universal Studios, lots of shopping and then Downtown Disney. We had an amazing time getting lost in the Disney store as I laboured over Pooh Bear gifts for my sister. And Si.. you’ll die.. we came out of the restaurant next door to House of Blues at about 11, only to see that Joe Satriani had been playing there that night. AGHHH! But you can’t have too many great shows in one trip before you start losing friends back home… so. Yeah. Florida was great. It was too soon to leave, and too soon to leave John and Valerie.

We went home to Indianapolis to meet my friend Danielle. We drove out to a friend, Dean’s place and hung out with his horses and puppies, before heading out to meet Danielle, Aaron and Allison. Dean’s son is also a big DMB fan, and was actually at the Detroit concert that I was at.. he made me some CD’s. I like Indianapolis.

We met Dani and Co. at Mama Carolla’s Old Fashioned Italian Restuarant. An amazing restaurant and amazing to meet her face to face at last. The restuarant is old stucco, orginally built as a showhome to model the California/Mexican/Italian style of house that they were trying to introduce into the area. Filled with Fairy lights and soft furnishings, it was like dining in some romantic movie scene and the food was great.

Dani said I wasn’t as short as she was expecting, so as you can imagine, we are getting along great. We sat up last night, catching up .. and it’s felt as natural as can be. So we stayed another night at my uncle’s and left Indianapolis at about 6.45am. Uncle John even got up at that time to say goodbye, so Mum says that he must have enjoyed having me there. I’m pretty stoked about that because we’re already working on the list of things that I have to do next time I come. Family is too important.

The whole way down from Indy to Nashville, I was teary. I wasn’t sure if it was just the beauty of the sunrise over the fall leaves on the trees, or the lack of sleep and caffeine, or just the sadness of feeling such immense joy at reconnecting with my uncle, only to turn around and leave again.

Here’s something I was thinking today looking at those fall leaves turning though. It’s the way that life ought to end.. the end of a leaf is glorious. It’s brightest colour, it’s most dramatic impact. Those final moments are just glorious, and that’s how life ought to end for us.

We drove straight through Kentucky today, and then did a tour of Franklin, which is where Daniellle lives. Tomorrow we’ll tour through downtown Nashville, maybe even the Country Music Hall of Fame and some vintage guitar stores. You gotta look and dream, right? The Les Paul goldtop is huge here right now, so as long as I’m looking for anything but that, I’m sweet.

Should head to bed soon I think.

I hope that things are going well for y’all.

Tash

Letters From America: So Damn Lucky

Letters From America So Damn Lucky

From “Natasha McGill”

Subject Letters From America So Damn Lucky

Date Sat, October 2, 2004 6:05 am

To tashmcgill@maxnet.co.nz

Reporting live from the Mothership of All Motherships.

Here I am at Willow Creek Community Church. I could tell you about the brand new auditorium that they just opened, that seats 7000. Or about the 25,000 people that came through the doors last weekend. I could tell you about the lake, and the landscaping, or the water feature in the lobby. But it wouldn’t be fair to comment on those things when I haven’t figured out what they all mean yet.

So I can tell you about the people.. Had lunch with the Student Impact staff. They work with senior high schoolers, a ministry of more than a 1000. The kind of ministry that has youth pastors, small group pastors, worship pastors, counselling pastors and administrative staff just for one small bracket. Also had a meeting with one of the people from Axis, which is the 18-30 ministry.

They’re good people. An enormous number of them are relatively new and they are all asking the same questions of post-modernism and what that means for us and the people that we are leading, and those who are leading us. And the questions are the same.. how can you make this work, what must be sacrificed for the sake of wider community etc etc etc.

Being in a place this big, where there are so many people who ‘belong’ but the definitions of community are challenged by logistics… makes me glad for the fact that I could recognise by sight at least most of the people that I see azs part of the Windsor Evening Community on a regular basis.

But all that church and work talk aside…

Chicago. Windy City.. although I haven’t figured out if it earnt that name for the hotwinded politicians and mobsters, the actual wind.. or immense number of jazz and blues musicians here. The atmosphere and character oozes out and around every pavement and sidewalk.

Chicago feels like the first real city that I’ve set foot in here in the States. The people feel real, the buildings are old and beautiful, the air is clean.. err.. cleaner, than in LA. The train track that runs through the city, the architecture of the skyline is stunning. Haven’t made it to the Frank Lloyd Wright memorial yet, but that is on the cards for the weekend. I have spent a couple of days downtown though.. street crawling and capturing the sight and colours and light of a city like this. The way the sun sets over the horizon of Lake Michigan and reflects of the wall of glass that is the skyscraper outline. The gracious view of Chicago’s sprawling city suburbia filled with brownstone and redbrick from the skydeck on Sears tower.

I submitted to the tourist pull and walked thorugh Navy Pier, rode the Ferris Wheel, took a speedboat tour of the shorefront, and I’m hoping to the architectural river tour this weekend too.

Michigan Avenue is one of THE places to be in Chicago. Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Tiffany’s, Bvlgari and etc etc etc.. line up along what’s termed the Magnificent Mile. So I went into Bloomingdales, cos I’m after the pan-ultimate American experience.

If you’ve seen ‘What Women Want’ where Mel Gibson walks into the department store and just is swamped in a sea of women’s voices.. it was actually like that in real life. I stood and watched, just observing old ladies in Chanel suits wearing diamonds set in platinum that could sink ships.. I couldn’t help but feel.. well, distinctly out of place, but also disappointed to discover that the heart of all the Hollywood exaggeration.. doesn’t exaggerated the radical dependence on the external to minister to the internal. Beauty counters set in for metres and metres, while just a couple of blocks away, the darkness of the crowded housing, all black neighbourhoods, covered in litter and grime and sadness sits in the shadow of the high-rises.

Yeah.. typical I know. It’s the same old same old to come and be horrified by the wealth of some and the poverty of others, but it would be irresponsible to pretend like it’s not the case. So I’m not cheesy.. I’m just real.

After a hard day of travelling the streets of the city, went to Giordanos for pizza. A traditional deep-dish Chicago style pizza. Kinda has to be seen to be believed, but the cops in the booth just down from us, with thick Chicago accents, the Italian/Greek metropolitian flavour of the place seems to be just right.

Anyway.. the flavour of the place is hard to capture in a series of letters and words. But I’m loving it. Chicago is a place I could live. Defintely a place I could live. Off to find music and madness tonight. What I haven’t found is a cup of coffee worth drinking. Watched the presidential debate last night.. couldn’t help but like some of what George W. Bush has to say. I’m watching myself before entering into too much political discussion though.

Where I’m staying in Chicago is actually covered with pictures of New Zealand, my hosts were just there. I missed home for the first time the other night.. but there is still a lot of travelling to be done. I’m looking forward to all the conferences being over and getting to see my uncle and Danielle, Natasha and a few other friends.

There is a big ol’ message stirring up within me at the moment.. decisions that I made before leaving home that have solidified and choices that I have coming up expanding.. and so that’s exciting. I realised before I left that I’ve been slowing losing my edge.. it’s been dulled by circumstance and choices, and that’s not okay with me. So I’m resharpening the blade. Here’s hoping that journey will continue to unfold when I get back, and it will help you resharpen yours too. I’ve discovered that it’s better if you take your life with you when you go somewhere.. so in a sense, y’all are here with me. You are in my thoughts and prayers.. and your influence travels with me. So much things to say.. starting with, I’m so damn lucky to have been given what I have, and to be entrusted with you, to journey with.

Thanks for your emails and text messages etc. Brightens my days.

May you be Present in the moments you are in.

May you be Present with each other, and honest.

May you be Present with the Father, and loved.

Tash xxx

Letters From America: So Much To Say

Letters From America So Much To Say

From “Natasha McGill”

Subject Letters From America So Much To Say

Date Sat, September 25, 2004 6:41 pm

To tashmcgill@maxnet.co.nz

Yes, that is a Dave Matthews Band song. Cheesy I know, but … deep down you appreciate the fact that I am a passionate person.. so passionate that I don’t mind y’all knowing my vunerability!

So here I am in crazy Anaheim, in crazy America, surrounded by youthworkers! eeks.

The plane out of NZ got delayed by a couple of hours so things got off to a great start on this little sojourn.. but we arrived in San Francisco and gassed it to Santa Cruz to visit with VIntage Faith church.. pastored by Dan Kimball and a team of great, and I mean, genuinely awesome, feel like you’re talking to Jesus people. We were welcomed with such great hospitality and warmth.. and not to mention the church service itself.

It reminded me of a lot of places I’ve been, but in every experience there’s always felt like there was an element missing in the connection of creativity to community to church. Here at Vintage Faith, it’s natural as breathing to see artists painting the message being spoken, silent prayer corners set up, people sitting with coffee cups in their laps. Some sitting on cushions, some at tables. The sense of God’s creativity taking pride of place and not just creativity for creativity’s sake was really encouraging.. to think.. this can be done. Somehow all the ideas and thoughts and emotions that run rampant in my head and in the body of our community can be brought into the open in outstandingly glorious ways.

The absence of self, the sideways stage, the overwhelming beauty of the all-encompassing images… left me wth a profound sense of peace, and of God’s wondrous romance. It’s marvellous to be this close to every emotion that sits under the weight of busyness and the rush.

So, apart from some great face to face time with Dan, talking about his postmodern journey, Snta Cruz also inroduced me to Josh Fox. He’s the music pastor at Vintage, who’s incredibly humble and real. We’re trying to convince him to come on out and visit for a while.

We visited the Boardwalk at Santa Cruz and that was choice as, incredibly old rollercoasters and carousels. Then we took the Pacific Coast Highway down to LA… mint.

I went off wandering by myself from Anaheim to Newport Beach, then Long Beach. Cool, just to be immersed, travel through some of the poverty and see the influence of America on Mexican culture and vice-versa. Meeting interesting people wherever I go, and enjoying the ride.

Yesterday and today has been critical concerns courses with Rob Bell, a teaching pastor from Michigan. Challenging stuff, and there are lots of things that I have been wanting to explore and action in my life and in the lives of my community that I am encouraged to do now.

I gotta jett.. so all the exciting deep parts that you were hanging out for will have to wait til the next installment. Hopefully tomorrow sometime.

God is with me, and present all around.

He is also present where you are, working amongst you and I.

May your eyes be opened to see Him. Read yourself Colossians 2.

Grace and Peace.

Tash