Integrity> closely related to integrated

“and where you go may angels watch over you and walk the same road ahead and behind of you all the time you wait and you watch and you seek out the beautiful and the hopeless in misery all the days you watch….

and where you may angels watch over you and walk the same road and bring you home on the straight line and let you walk it wise with your heart wide open never broken or beaten may you find the beautiful in surprised disguise… “

If there was one thing I would ask for more of in my life right — it would be Integrity. I so badly want to have integrity in every inch of my being. It’s more than character, but it’s the practice of my faith. It’s more than wisdom but the outpouring of the Spirit. Everywhere you find integrity you find something solid and truthful underneath.. and in the absence of it there is despair, hopelessness, false hope and quicksand.

More than having integrity, I want to be surrounded by integrity. Honesty and application have to live together for integrity to be at work in any life or any collection of lives.

It seems that the test is in integration. If you can hold all the pieces and threads of your life together in the one place without too much shame or discomfort, and with honesty and openness about each piece and how they interweave together, then I think you’re doing ok. But if integration never happens, and all these pieces live separate from each other – then something must be amiss..

God designed us as integrated beings, within ourselves, between Us and God, between a man and a woman, between parents and children – an integration of beings and lives together.

Do not cast me into the shadowlands of your existence, nor into the darkness that never sees the light of day. For I’ve upheld you into the sunlight of my life and connected you to the thread of lifeblood in my world.

Song Of The Moment : EZ
Pete Yorn

Only save,
try to find another way,
I’m taking what I gave to you again.
Some new day I could understand your face,
you could even hold my hand if you would like to.

It came up unexpected,
I had to follow through
and it’s hard when you were working like you do.
It was easy when you were younger,
you can put it back together,
it was there if you ever wanted it
but you closed the door and said goodbye for good.

So this is a mistake,
try to find a better way,
you were never fond of anything I said.
Can we begin again?
Save it for another friend,
I was happy in my life I won’t pretend.

Every time you were expecting to reach out and forgive this,
I was hardened by the look upon your face,
it was easy when you were younger,
you can put it back together,
it was there if you ever wanted it,
but you closed the door and said goodbye for good,
for good…
you were easy

Youth Ministry In 50 Years
Marko was interviewed for a Christianity Today 50th Anniversary edition, focussing on the next 50 years in a range of ministry areas. Being from NZ, a couple of cultural things need to be considered in my response…

1. We’re early adapters.
It’s true – we are amongst the top five countries in the world for testing and releasing new products, technologies and ideas. Consequently, we can adopt new ideas, practices, ideaologies and theologies really quickly, adapting our ministries to fit. This does not however, mean that we are accurately depicting practices and theologies that are developing and being used in other parts of the world, within other cultural contexts. In other words – yes we are early adapters, but we love adopting other people’s two year olds (see more on that thesis later!) rather than doing the hard yards of genuine cultural, biblical and soul searching exegesis. This means sometimes the way it looks it not actually the way it is.

2. I’m young, boisterous, strong-minded.
This response to both the article and Marko’s comments, and marko’s Comments will undoubtedly slide into my dreamtime landscape of possibilities and idealism. I’m youthful. Forgive me. No really, forgive me.

3. I’m also a part time youth worker in a large-ish NZ Baptist church. NZ Baptists are unique. Large Baptist churches in NZ are few and far between, so these views may not necessarily reflect anything more than observations in my immediate local NZ shores.

In the next 50 years it’s my general feeling that we’ll…

… reclaim “youth ministry” from lone eagles, resulting in a stronger emphasis on family involvement and broader church integration.

… we’ll have gone through an uncomfortable love affair with “emerging church” resulting in the implementation and celebration of ‘creativity’ and increased acceptance of wider spiritual practices.

… we’ll have come through the other side of that relationship, regretting rapid adaption of ‘ideas’ and the absence of well thought out theological application of what God is shaping and moving in this particular time period within the church.

… youth workers who have celebrated longevity here will wrestle with how to grow wider as well as deeper in regards to growing and developing leadership, training resources and a sense of local, regional and national identity

… as a result of those three developments, youth ministry in NZ will begin to be shaken at the core. This will probably result in shifts away from fulltime youth workers into parttime church / parttime work positions or entirely volunteer run youth ministries within church.

… there will still be (2015) a wide divergence between church based and community based youth works, resulting in ongoing conflict and discussion about the role of mission and parachurch youth ministry organisations, probably resulting in more parachurch training becoming available, resourced by church and community based youth workers.

… the debate will still be raging over large scale Christian youth events and their effectiveness vs. local relationship-based youth ministry within a church. There will be a few of the middleaged youth workers around who will be pointing the way towards a ‘both/and’ environment.

… my hope and prayer is that we will be more focussed on the kind of young adults we are raising. we’ll be taking responsibility within church based ministries, that we too play a vital role in the development of young adult culture, especially when they’ve been raised within the church. it’s not just a matter of the “devils music”.

… in an ideal world we would have school based youth workers in 80% of state schools. in the reality of our constantly secularising political environment it seems more likely that churches will have to find innovative ways of ‘serving’ the community. this will actually be a positive thing as it will encourage the development of a very Acts-styled faith practice .. where the love of the disciples won the people over.

… we’ll take responsibility for a constant flow of opportunity, grace and encouragement, shaping youth leaders and workers around their passions and gifts, enabling them to grow in areas of strength and supporting them through weaknesses.

…………………….. I could go on and on and on.

Some comments on the article (now buried in the depths of the CT website)..

I was overall disappointed with it’s brevity, it’s flippancy and it’s lack of engagement with some of the obvious deeper issues and conversation pieces. I would have rather sat 6-7 of those people in a room with some real wholesome food, a whiteboard, some crayons and paper, some big ideas and a tape recorder.

In regards to the comments being left all over the web – I’m just fascinated by the diversity and yet the similarity of some of what God is doing and shaping in this place.

Watoto Childrens Choir
Sunday was an incredible day. Simon my business partner leaves soon to take the media trip to Tanzania to visit the New Life project that the Hope Foundation is supporting. So to spend a day watching the Watoto Childrens Choir from a very similar project in Uganda was preparatory, moving and changing.

It’s one thing to read, listen and have an understanding of the exceptional suffering that AIDS orphans and HIV/AIDS affected families in Africa are enduring. It’s when you hear the hope and the sorrow coexisting in the voice of a 13 year old girl who has the vocabulary, faith and understanding to be able to tell you..

“For a long time, when I was in the midst of the suffering, I thought God had forgotten me, that He had forgotten all of us. I would cry and pray everyday ‘God why do you not help me, why do you not do something for me’.”

… no 13 year old girl should be able to explain suffering and hopelessness the way that she was able to.

All I wanted to do was hold and touch and whisper God’s affection to children that were once broken. Even though all over Africa it is plain to see that God is doing work that all carries the fingerprints of His mercy on it – I’m so
aware that it can’t remove the sorrow from their experience.

I felt white and rich, and it was the dirtiest I’ve ever felt.

EZ
In comparison – my suffering is obselete. My friend came home, and in my excitement over seeing them come home, even for a short time – I forgot who they are, and what they are like. Cornered like a cat – I’ve not seen him since the first weekend he was back. I so desperately want to believe in him – in all that God has and could do in someone with so much potential and life force. Day by day – I’m trying to stay consistent – that Love and Faithfulness to anyone …. would never leave me. There is a sense within me, that perhaps I can let go of this one.

Mum says that there is a season for friendship and for letting it go. I think that maybe the time is coming – not for letting go – but for not having to hold on. I still love the storm. I love the vitality of it. I love the way I can laugh in the midst of it all. I love the passion I have to see him succeed, not because of anything it means for me – but everything it could mean for the rest of the world.

My prayer is that the wind fills his sails. Wherever he’s going.

It came up unexpected,
I had to follow through
and it’s hard when you were working like you do.
It was easy when you were younger,
you can put it back together,
it was there if you ever wanted it
but you closed the door and said goodbye for good.

Welcome, Visitors!
Howdy and hey there… thanks so much for coming past – especially if you’re here because Marko sent you! Give me 24 hours and I promise I’ll post something either absentminded or profound in regards to the next fifty years of youth ministry!

Watch this space.

Life Is A Highway Of Long Stretched Out Disappointments, Life Is Found In The Corners

Lamentations 3
1 I am the man who has seen affliction
by the rod of his wrath.
2 He has driven me away and made me walk
in darkness rather than light;
3 indeed, he has turned his hand against me
again and again, all day long.
4 He has made my skin and my flesh grow old
and has broken my bones.
5 He has besieged me and surrounded me
with bitterness and hardship.
6 He has made me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
7 He has walled me in so I cannot escape;
he has weighed me down with chains.
8 Even when I call out or cry for help,
he shuts out my prayer.
9 He has barred my way with blocks of stone;
he has made my paths crooked.
10 Like a bear lying in wait,
like a lion in hiding,
11 he dragged me from the path and mangled me
and left me without help.
12 He drew his bow
and made me the target for his arrows.
13 He pierced my heart
with arrows from his quiver.
14 I became the laughingstock of all my people;
they mock me in song all day long.
15 He has filled me with bitter herbs
and sated me with gall.
16 He has broken my teeth with gravel;
he has trampled me in the dust.
17 I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.
18 So I say, “My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the LORD.”
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.
28 Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.
29 Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.
30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.
31 For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.
34 To crush underfoot
all prisoners in the land,
35 to deny a man his rights
before the Most High,
36 to deprive a man of justice—
would not the Lord see such things?
37 Who can speak and have it happen
if the Lord has not decreed it?
38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
that both calamities and good things come?

Psalm 73
A psalm of Asaph.
1 Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
4 They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong. [a]
5 They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.
6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.
7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity [b] ;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.
8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.
9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.
10 Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance. [c]
11 They say, “How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?”
12 This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.
13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
14 All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.
15 If I had said, “I will speak thus,”
I would have betrayed your children.
16 When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me
17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.
18 Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.
19 How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!
20 As a dream when one awakes,
so when you arise, O Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

These two Scripture passages are living in my headspace at the moment – I’ve been thinking about the disappointments and the struggles.. the Sticking Points in the lives of my friends – and in my life.

My current wrestle has been the same for a couple of years – when God doesn’t do the thing you thought He was going to do in the way that you thought He was going to do it, and in fact He didn’t do the thing that you thought He was going to do at all… what happens to believing? I believe in God, but do I really BELIEVE Him.

In these Scriptures, I find my recompense – that God does not willing afflict or grieve the Sons of Men. That even though my perspective is flawed and filled with seeming human injustice – that God is still God.

I recognise my sin in this – that God being in control has to be ok, even when I’m not in the know of the outcomes, although my attitude and faith has been unwilling to live with an open hand in this regard.

Can God again, be the resing place of my goodness – can I move past the Sticking Point?