Try Being Profound, On a Regular Basis
It’s not the fun you think. There too many things in life to talk about, too many different things to think about. And if I took all the thoughts in my head, I would waste away the days, but without these things I think about I’m afraid the world.. will lose interest.

Oh, I know I’m not that wise… yet. I know I’ve got so much to learn. But still in the bottom of my veins somewhere.. I feel I oughta have something to say. Cos you don’t get this way for nothing. You don’t feel these things without some ultimate purpose, oh, I feel there oughta be a purpose.

For if I could be like Solomon, even for a day or week, my own problems I’m sure that I could solve and that would be productive. Cos I feel I’m living inside my head too much for the moment. And while it’s a pretty marvellous place to be, it screws with perspective. How I live is not the way, that many or any of us should be, there’s a lonely space and it don’t get better most days.

It doesn’t mean I’m sad. I say that a lot. It doesn’t comfort the way it should. And I say it’s good for my development, but I feel I’m going backwards mostly. So I think too much, pray aloud, sing a new song nearly every day. I just would like a roadmap Lord, is it too much to ask.

We can’t help but be comparative beings, and I do my share of comparisons, though I ought to know better, it strikes me.. that whilst you might believe I’m brilliant, or capable of such, there’s a concrete chain around my intellectual metabolism. I look to those around me, so much confidence they have, and I think, life’s so fragile and so fleeting, I’m so discontented with my days. I feel closer to dying but I’m still so young, yet it could be over in a matter of moments.. the speed with which it passes by. Find me lyrical, at a heartbeat, wrestling with the inner soul or was that a demon of obsession that never seems to want to let me go?

These few short days of mine, seem too few and yet so long. Is it wrong of me to hold the hope of heaven, knowing that’s the only place I’ll feel at home? But’s too far now to give me any of the peace that I may crave.