Relationships

Can I Keep You?

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Maybe the living, breathing you. Maybe just a memory of you. A life of caveats leaves no room for surprise. No room to change the rules and I am, by nature, a rule changer. Not a breaker, as much as a changer. I like the flexibility to change the expectations. Who says some things are unforgivable or that things must go a certain way?

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You Love Fewer People Than You Think.

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You love fewer people than you think you do. And, if you need permission to care less about some, in order to love others better – this is it. Feel free to hit delete. Caring is enough, if caring is what you have to offer. But caring cannot get in the way of Love. You’ve got permission to gather yourself back from the hundreds of little connections draining your batteries.

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When Your Friend Finds A Lover.

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In any of those circumstances, there is a season where your friend is lost to you, replaced by a creature called ‘Stranger That Knows Your Deep Secrets’. Your secrets, once shared in trust between the two of you are now the shared property of your friend and their lover. You have to re-introduce yourself and hope they are equally as trustworthy. You have to hope that they choose to love you, as you choose to love them.

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It’s How We Fight, Not Just Why.

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Most of us only have one, maybe two fight modes. If those fight modes are not constructive, then conflict is likely to be unhealthy, rather than something we can work through to achieve greater understanding, harmony and intimacy. If you can learn to evolve your fight modes over time, you can become a better communicator through conflict. You can grow from it. If you get stuck in an unconstructive fight mode, you might well be doing damage unwittingly.

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Letting Go Of The Past.

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When I let that uncertain, insecure woman come back, I am adrift in unsteady reflections – looking to the faces of others to see myself, instead of the mirror within. I like the woman I see in that internal mirror, I know her well by now. She is a dear and mysterious friend, a warm lover and a fiery ally. She is certain, she is steadfast, she knows herself. She is giving, passionate, soulful. I want her to be known.

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Why Men And Women Must Be Friends.

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Our sex-addled brains that need this truism more than anything else – that friendship between men and women, friendship itself is possibly the most vital human interaction in society today. There may come a time, though hard to imagine, when my body is too old and stiff for sex or I have simply lost the desire for it. I will be lonely then, as I am lonely now. It is my friend who quells my loneliness.

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