Health

What Men Deserve From Women.

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People seem to keep blaming men for the state of things. But some of the most emotionally aware and grounded people I know are men. They are teachers, artists, scientists, single, married, fathers, gay, straight. So it’s not ok for our culture to perpetuate the stereotype of the emotionally unengaged and purely sexually motivated man.

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Real Intimacy, Behind The Wall.

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Emotional intimacy isn’t just sharing part of yourself, it’s also having that part of you accepted and acknowledged by another person. My desire to share all of my secret self the moment I connect with someone who feels trustworthy is pretty flawed. The point is to discover those things, not to lay them out all at once. It’s helpful to observe those who are willing to do the work of discovery. Those who want to unpack the hidden woman behind the Facebook feed. Previously, I’ve thought that intimacy was to be known, but now I see that true intimacy is to be in the knowing. An ongoing process – where two people choose to continue to discover each other.

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Trying To Lose My Virginity.

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A friend of mine once said the only thing that prevents a man from getting laid is the woman before him. I laughed at the time, because I thought to myself it was true! I was sitting in front of him, laughing at his jokes and enjoying his intelligent banter. I was wearing phenomenally great underwear, beautiful perfume and everything that ought to have been waxed, tidied, buffed and moisturized had been. It was a collision amongst the stars – almost.

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A Modern Virgin.

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Sex is one of the important ways we prove we are not alone. In our most vulnerable state, we share ourselves with another person and we are not alone. The more often we have sex, the more opportunity we have to be closer to our partner. We become less alone.

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It’s How We Fight, Not Just Why.

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Most of us only have one, maybe two fight modes. If those fight modes are not constructive, then conflict is likely to be unhealthy, rather than something we can work through to achieve greater understanding, harmony and intimacy. If you can learn to evolve your fight modes over time, you can become a better communicator through conflict. You can grow from it. If you get stuck in an unconstructive fight mode, you might well be doing damage unwittingly.

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Letting Go Of The Past.

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When I let that uncertain, insecure woman come back, I am adrift in unsteady reflections – looking to the faces of others to see myself, instead of the mirror within. I like the woman I see in that internal mirror, I know her well by now. She is a dear and mysterious friend, a warm lover and a fiery ally. She is certain, she is steadfast, she knows herself. She is giving, passionate, soulful. I want her to be known.

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Why Men And Women Must Be Friends.

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Our sex-addled brains that need this truism more than anything else – that friendship between men and women, friendship itself is possibly the most vital human interaction in society today. There may come a time, though hard to imagine, when my body is too old and stiff for sex or I have simply lost the desire for it. I will be lonely then, as I am lonely now. It is my friend who quells my loneliness.

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