Day Two: Favourite Piece of Furniture

Day Two: Favourite Piece of Furniture

We grew up in a house full of books. Almost every bedroom had built-in bookshelves that were double-stacked and full to bursting. In our household, the rule was you can spend frivolously on books, so long as you choose good ones because there were always be at least four people to read it. My mother and sisters and I grew up nourished on serif fonts and paperback newsprint. Even now we have to check and double check who has purchased which new release from our favourite authors so we don’t double up too much. I carry this habit with me; like the shopping habits of an overweight woman – books and shoes never let me down. In fact, because of books and shoes it has never occurred to me to consider anything else normative. I grew up listening to my mother read Tennyson and Longfellow to me in perfect meter.

Did you ever see the sound of a word carving out space for you to live inside? I did. The way my mother could roll her tongue into the rhythm of Hiawatha’s song, painting a word picture of Nokomis, Daughter of the Moon and her wigwam is perhaps my most treasured sound of childhood. I wait eagerly to hear her speak it aloud again to my niece and nephew.

Of the few places we called home in my youth, it wasn’t until we arrived in Patey St that I think we truly made ourselves at home again. After leaving Hau Moana, our green square house overlooking the Manukau Harbour, we finally found ourselves again in the early 1900s bungalow within walking distance of the best schools. There was little romance in the position of the house, just the earnest love of a woman determined to give us every launch pad she could into the world. But slowly, as we peeled back linoleum from native hardwood timber floors and as Mum sanded and then painstakingly painted every architrave and doorframe in enamel paint; Patey St became a love story to what is possible.

In the bones of that bungalow are the built-in bookshelves I now crave and the stories we learned within her walls. We fought and screamed and cried and pushed our way into adolescence and adulthood in those walls.

In the height of our romance with Patey St, as we knew her, the formal living room boasted deep pink fuchsia walls, a Regent style carpet and floral curtains. You had to stand in the space to understand how perfect it was and if you did, you would see two pink Edwardian armchairs. This room, with an explosion of colour was always heaven to me. 

My mother, finally independent, had created rooms in a house that was entirely her own making. In my memory coloured by fondness, everything about it was luscious – from the English rose garden to the floral wallpapers and the Edwardian chaise lounge. My mother made an escape from the world, where Tennyson, Browning, Keats and Longfellow made sense. I would arrive home from school, discard my bag and books and disappear into the world of poetry and novelists she gave me, sinking into one of those pink velvet Edwardian chairs.

When the time came for fuchsia to yield to beige and the onslaught of real estate agents began, my desire to keep the pink armchairs matched my mother’s reluctance to let them go. My stepfather – kind, gracious, a little bit naughty, had always preferred one of those armchairs by the fire. My own home had a fireplace less full of poetry but just as warm. I will not let them go, even now when I travel thousands of miles from home. When the time comes to bring my pots and pans and books to fill shelves here in the Continental United States, there are two pink chairs that will find their way back home to me. Where there is poetry waiting. A chair without a book to read is no place to rest.

Day One: Changing Seasons

Day One: Changing Seasons

The rhythm of our seasons is by now so familiar to me that I forget to notice the nuances. There are four acts to the calendar year, just like there are four acts to life. This ancient rhythm coerces me til I see the world in the four lenses; in parallel to summer, autumn, winter and spring.

Birth, growing, fading, dying. Living out our years is as if we stand at the centre of expanding concentric circles, season after season layered on top of the other. We live through eighteen cycles of the years but call it all the Spring of youth, before we are finally finished being born. Everybody likes that idea. Another 18 we spend in the idyllic Summer of adulthood, blooming as our fully-realised selves. Eighteen years in Autumn revealing a glorious show of colour as we begin to fade, saving our beauty for the very end. We remind ourselves what can be found in the final moments of every season. Still, no one likes the idea of a long death, no one wants eighteen years of dying. We try to rob death of it’s quarter-share, we give it the passing of a single breath. We try to live long and die quick. We stretch out and manipulate our seasons by how we count time. We fly away from winter.

If you are standing in the right place on earth, a season can change in a single breath. The Japanese recognise twenty four ‘small seasons’ where the earth pauses in place to gaze at the moon. They acknowledge each of the 72 breaths that form those micro seasons where the heat approaches, the heat sticks and the heat subsides. They count the earth breathing in and out three times and then turning her body slightly forward.  Twenty four resting places and three deep breaths in each, always moving.

I think this is how we live and die; in equal, perfect measure. Balance. But it is not the seasons that change to keep the earth in balance in cycles of decay and rebirth. The earth moves herself to stay in balance with her life-giving and her dying. The seasons do not happen to her but Earth steps into them, breath by breath, back towards the moon and on towards the sun. 

When the moon is high, I rearrange furniture and sleep with the curtains open, drenched in moonlight. I reorganise spaces in my home and in my mind for the work that needs to happen next. I choose to make new rhythms and practices so I can resist any temptation to get stuck in the previous breath. The temptation is heavy, 

Sometimes, like yesterday, I find myself stepping into the rain that falls in the last breaths of the Autumn Equinox. First the thunder of the last twelve months began to ease, and the rain signaled me to adjust my sight to the next bend, to step into the next breath of the Earth. This rain is my final cleansing, a deep long breath after the heat of Summer.