by tashmcgill | Oct 17, 2004 | Travel
Letters From America Stay Or Leave
From: Natasha McGill
Sent : Monday, 18 October 2004 5:08:14 a.m.
To : tashmcgill@maxnet.co.nz
Subject : Letters From America Stay Or Leave
Stay or Leave, I want you not to go, but you must.
Leaving Nashville was a traumatic experience! Dani and I went to Demos’ the steak and spaghetti house for dinner. It was delicious, although Americans look at me funny when I order my steak medium-rare. Weirdos. I had the most divine pepper steak in a sherry and pepper reduction, served smothered in chargrilled peppers, onions and chili. Served with a side of spaghetti alfredo.. mmm. Yummy. Although I must admit that I am hankering to get back into the kitchen myself. There is a certain sense of humility that I need to regain by preparing my own food I think.
So .. like I said leaving was traumatic. Firstly, I was scheduled to leave at 7am. That got rescheduled, and then delayed. Then I missed the connection in Washington DC because of the delay and ended up there for another few hours. Having been up at 5am to get to the airport, I was tired and sore and homesick by the time I finally arrived at my seedy little hotel on the West Side by 9pm. So I’ll be honest. Arriving in New York tired, hungry, with no idea really of where you are going, in the dark, rainy remnants of some tropical storm.. is just not a good way to start.
So I had a good cry and called Mum, who told me to buck up my courage, have a good sleep and then get out there. I called Danielle too, and said .. ‘why did I leave?’. I decided I didn’t like travelling by myself, and even the excitement of getting out into the Big Apple was not going to cut it for me. There was this weight like concrete bricks in my stomach, and the smokey, dirty, dusky smell of the joint I’m staying in was not helping. Honest to truth.. I had such a good time with my uncle and Valarie in Indianapolis, I seriously thought about just getting on a plane back there until my flight left on Monday.
I felt pretty miserable yesterday morning too, but finally decided that I just needed to get over it. So I did. A couple of phonecalls to spur me on into the day and there I was. So my seedy little dive doesn’t seem so bad in daylight.. in fact it feels super New York now. And I’m only three blocks west of Central Park, two blocks south of the subway to Midtown and Downtown, and that suits me fine.
So yesterday I fell in love with New York, uncovering her delights and treasures! Walking through the Strangers Gate off Duke Ellington Blvd I started to find my feet. There were trees and grass and birds. Hundreds of kids playing soccer and baseball, dads and kids bike riding and playing all over the place. The little hidden lakes and bridges are just as picturesque as they seem in the movies. I met a wonderful woman who walked through the park and to the Guggenheim Museum with me, and then showed me all the bus and subway routes I could be taking for the rest of my travels. She really was a bit of an angel. And now I totally understand why Central Park is regarded as the thing that makes the city livable for so many.
The Guggenheim is just stunning, as a piece of architecture alone. I happened to stumble into the opening weekend of the Aztec Empire exhibit. Which is kinda torturous, really. Because all you want to do with really really old things, is place your hands and fingertips where the centuries-gone Aztecs would have held these objects, where they would have crafted them from primitive chisel.. at least, that’s how I longed to connect. Same way with Pablo Picasso paintings. I longed to feel the rise and ridge of the paint under my fingers, emulating the way it would have felt coming off the brush.. it’s an intimate kind of a thing to see how closely involved a painter is with his work. I wasn’t the only one who lost in some trance-like admiration was moved to a tear or two.
The whole Guggenheim, bar some annexes, is a curving sloping spiral. Stunning to look at, in every direction, from the tiled circles on the floor to the ambient light from the skylight atrium. But it’s remarkably hard to feel balanced on, so whilst climbing and descending, your mind is only half on the art and displays, and half on keeping your balance.
From the Guggenheim, I caught a bus that took me all the way downtown to the South Ferry. This is the best kind of tour bus, because it only costs $2 and you brush through just about every little neighbourhood and village.. SoHo, Chinatown, Little Italy, The Financial District, just about all of Fifth Avenue, the library, more of the museums.
On just about every corner there are street vendors and newsstands, and all the I ‘heart’ NY tshirts you could dream of. Groups of people gathered on museum steps listening to beat poetry, and breakdancers in Bryant Park. The sight and colour is just amazing. So onto the Staten Island ferry I went. Staten Island you say? Well, here’s the deal.. In a city that is so full of tourists as well as actual city dwellers… I felt the need to not be one of those weirdos wearing a bumbag with a New York tshirt and a big-as camera. As with many things.. blending is the key. So I took the free Staten Island ferry that goes right past the Statue of Liberty, rather than the expensive tourist rides to Ellis Island. Sweet.
The harbour is unbelievably busy, ships, barges, ferries and cruiseships in all directions, not to mention the helicopters, going in and out from skyscraper rooftops, just like Trump Tower.
So getting back from the Island, just as the rain and dusk and dark started to set in, I jumped on the Subway, feeling like a true New Yorker as I bought my Metrocard and travelled uptown to Times Square. There I caught a movie, because I wasn’t able to get a ticket to a Broadway show. Good movie too. Then emerging after dark from the theatre.. I cruised up and down42nd street, the Broadway district, and past the broadcast homes of many tv stations etc etc.. lots of flashing lights. It’s kinda strange, because Times Square and the illustrious district around it all stops short west of 7th Avenue. There is a quad of four or five blocks west and four blocks south where there are no landmarks, or New York must-sees. It’s directly south of where I am staying, and at night you hear the sirens cutting through the smog and darkness into the distance. It’s called Hell’s Kitchen, and was kinda made notorious on a worldwide scale in a Nicolas cage movie, ‘bringing out the dead’. I imagine that it really is about as nasty as it was portrayed. All the lights and music, street performers stop, and the darkness carries on through to the Hudson.
I walked from Times Square down to Grand Central Station, which cannot be justice by my words. But it was really beautiful. The ceiling is the night sky, with constellations drawn in and lit up, the marble everywhere is stunning. Chandeliers fill the whole building with a warm, mellow light and the bars and music from the balconies make the whole experience quite enchanting. That’s something that ought to be captured in a movie.
On the way home in the subway, I came to thinking that in those moments, my world was really just as big as I could see in front of me. And that isn’t really very big at all. Maybe I was freaked out in New York, because I couldn’t see it in daylight, to understand it, or get my head around it. But I think I’ve got it now. I woke up this morning, excited and invigorated to get out into the day. And there are blue skies above me.
I walked to the Cathedral of St John the Divine, a Gothic-style building begun in the 1800’s that is still unfinished. It was glorious. The church is a vibrant part of the community, still holding worship services in the building. I like the fact that although the outside isn’t finished yet, the interior is finished just enough for them to be church, living and breathing. The gay couple who I met standing in front of the AIDS memorial were a poignant reminder of just how relevant faith and hope can be. And here I am in an internet cafe in Times Square, about to see a Broadway show. I’m going to the Lion King. Hear me Roar. But first.. I need to find a coffee.
Stay or Leave, I want not to go but I must. See you in NZ real soon.
Tash
by tashmcgill | Oct 15, 2004 | Travel
Subject: Letters From America Where Are You Going?
Fri, October 15, 2004 6:31 pm
Where are you going, where do you go? Are you looking for answers, to questions under the stars? If along the way you are growing weary, you can rest with me until a brighter day.
I’m off to New York after an exciting week in Music City. It’s gorgeous here, trolling around historic sites of the Civil War, not to mention all the country music places of renown, and the heart and soul of the CCM business.
It was nice to finally see the trees and the rolling hills of Tennessee. And the actual town areas are very cool. There is lots of village life here. The local Starbucks that Danielle frequents knows her name and drink, and this morning it was made before she even ordered it. That’s community living, I tell you.
And I finally found someone who could make the closest thing to a real coffee that I’ve had here. It’s cool being the one who introduces people to the flat white.
Now, when I say civil war.. I really mean it. It appears that for the most part, the whole of Franklin is actually a historic site. That probably has something to do with the Battle of Franklin. As you walk through the streets around the centre of town, there are dozens of old brick buildings formed in classic American architecture from the 1800’s. The stately white columns against red brick, combined with seasonal fall and harvest decorations, american flags and the red and gold splendour of fall… transports you to a place decades from where we are. As you walk past home bakeries and candle stores, the scents of cinnamon and pumpkim fill the air.
It seemed appropriate to journey just outside the main village centre to the Carnton Plantation, which is one of the foremost Civil War history spots. The plantation became an impromptu sort of field hospital during the battle, with the house being filled to the brim as the fighting continued, and then the wounded spilling out onto the lawn and surrounding areas. After the war, the plantation owner and his wifer, became so concerned with the decay of the Confederate graves.. shallow dug after the battle, that they dedicated two acres of the plantation and re-interred the fallen soldiers there. They kept records that assigned each identified soldier to his state, and when we walked through the graveyard, there were still fresh flowers alongside some markers. Some now ancient ancestor is still remembered. There had just been a commemoration for the war, and so the yard was filled with state and american flags.
Simple rows of stone markers against the lush green grass, the quiet of the cemetery felt older and somehow sacred, even though it’s not my ancestry or my freedom that was fought for or against. Still makes you respect this place, because of the deep connection that they have to their history and traditions.
Anyway.. Monday, it was great to venture into downtown Nashville. More specifically, we started at Broadway with lunch at Jack’s Bar-Be-Que. According to the Texan behind me, we were lucky enough to be dining at the only place outside of Texas that really knows what Bar-Be-Que is. The guy behind the counter prided himself on correctly assessing what our menu choices would be. And so I had brisket for the first tie in my life. Served with cornbread, and your choice of cream corn, green beans, fried beans etc etc. Then a collection of barbeque sauces to choose from. I was particularly impressed with the Smokey Kansas.
To be fair, credit for the choice for lunch belongs to Michael Todd. He’s a friend from Earthsuit days, who now works for another CCM band. It was cool to catch up with him, he and Dani were great tour guides around downtown Nashville, including a saunter past legendary bars with smokey and dusty stages, where legends were discovered and still play. Also paid a visit to Gruhn Guitars, just an experience of divine measure to see so many wellcrafted instruments in one place.
Danielle’s been working during the days, so the nights have been full of catching up and hanging out. It’s been so amazing how natural the whole thing has felt. We went to see Garden State that is just too perfect for words. Can I be so bold as to say, it’s a story of emergence that could be a metaphor for society or individuals.
Also watched Spiderman 2 on the IMAX screen and thought that the cars were crashing through the screen. EEks. I’ve done the driving tour of the houses of legends, as well as refined and defined the Triple A theory of Christian Music. Look for an expansion on that any day now. And.. the guitar voyage didn’t finish just with Gruhn Vintage, but continued to he Gibson factory, as well as the Gibson Showcase bar. You can also expect a shortlist of 101 Things To Remember When Playing To A Small And Unfamiliar Crowd. I think that one of the acts we saw needs to subscribe. #9.. Never, ever, whatever may come, give the audience a chance to tell you what they really think of your efforts.
Now that it’s so close to coming home, it feels both strange and comforting to think about it. I’m thinking about my couch, and my family, both the McLeans in the Big House and Mum and Co. I’m thinking about going up north and youth group when I get back. It will be good to see friends again, and sad to say goodbye to this place. There are a dozen things that I’ve simply run out of time to do, and so the plan is just to make the best of the last few days in New York. I’m off to have an adventure in the city that doesn’t sleep.
One of the defining moments of Tennessee was the thunderstorm just two nights ago. A hot and sweltering evening, that finally broke, with lightening forking through the sky, and thunder rolling it’s baritone through the hills. I slept with my window a little open that night, and felt the cool breath of an approaching winter on my cheek. It was different to the air in Florida, that was warm and soft like pyjamas you’ve just pulled out of the dryer. Here it whispers of all the glorious celebrations to come.. Fall, celebrated by Halloween, followed by Thanksgiving, then Christmas. And after all the celebration of what has been, and thanksgiving, prayers for what is to come, then they will celebrate New Year.
People here are good at celebrating. Good at remembering all that is good and right and worthy of celebrating about the big and small moments of life. So I am savouring and celebrating cornbread, and the smell of cinnamon candles. I’m enjoying all the moments that I can, and longing that this spirit of celebration will render itself into my soul as I voyage home.
Expect an installment of the Gospel, as living in New York.
Be Well
Tash
by tashmcgill | Oct 11, 2004 | Travel, Youth Work
Letters From America Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World
From “Tash McGill”
Subject Letters From America Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World
Date Mon, October 11, 2004 9:01 pm
To tashmcgill@maxnet.co.nz
Ha! I hear you say.. that’s not a Dave Matthews Song… but technically it
counts for this email.. as you’ll figure out in a little while.
Sorry it’s been a little long between exciting updates.. but I’ve been so
busy out there in the world that I haven’t been anywhere near a computer.
So anyway.. we were up to the Architectural Rivier Tour of Cihicago. The
more the days drew on in Chicago, the more I fell in love with the city.
In all it’s colours and flavours. The river tour takes you through the
central parts of the city where the river has suffered at the hands of
industry. There’s not a single place along the river that you’d feel safe
to fall into .. the tour guide took pride in letting us know that the
status of the river had in fact improved from Toxic to merely Hazardous.
But it’s not the beauty of the river that’s meant to catch your eye.
Everything points up..
From the iron work on the raising bridges, to the architecture of steel
and glass, marble, granite, the transition from boxes to curves on
buildings.. everything draws your eye into what man has built alongside
the lake and river. And it’s nice to know where Sammy Sosa of the Corkied
Bat lives, as well as Oprah Winfrey. Also learnt a few old-time Chicago
stories.. like the start of the great fire that wiped out much of the city
in the 1800’s. The site of the barn has now been filled by the Chicago
Fire Acadeny. I’m not kidding. There is a sense of humour in Chicago. it
And as for it’s nickname, the Windy CIty.. it’s in fact due to it’s rich
and character-filled political history. More on Chicago legends.. there’s
Legends the bar and venue, which we drove past but didn’t go into, the
also famous Blue Chicago, that simultaneously exists in two places,
featuring some wicked acts in both. You want to be sure that you’re going
to the right one.
Also visited the Millenium Park, which sits on the shores of Lake
Michagan, and it makes me drool at the site of it’s outdoor arena sound
systems, and it’s aluminum sculpture that reflects the viewers and the
skyline of the city. Just across from there are two large LCD screens
encased in glasss brick towers, reflecting the brick of the city all
around. They play constant video footage of faces, smiling and staring at
one another across a shallow pond.
As they play, there are those young and old that pretend to be Jesus
walking on the water, splashing in the edges and waiting with anticipation
for the spitting tactics of these strange projections. It acts like a
fountain of sorts, but conveniently syncs with the video to produce the
spitting effect. Watching those who weren’t paying attention get soaked
was completely worth the wait.
A 180 degree turn has you facing across the street, to penthouse bars..
but more significantly, buildings where the brick and plaster facades are
starting to fade from their glory. Pieces missing from cornerstones,
window arches and decorative pieces give you a sense that this city is old
enough to deserve a little TLC around the edges. Maybe that’s the heart of
the reflective sculpture.. simply that the art and beauty of Chicago is to
be found in mirroring back her own image.
And that was just one Saturday.. here’s the rock’n’roll part.
Sunday the 3rd of October I flew to Detroit to catch an American political
rally, with My Morning Jacket, Jurassic 5, Ben Harper and the Innocent
Criminals and Dave Matthews Band. It was the most stunning experience.
It began as I flew into Detroit, home of the Big THree car manufacturers.
This is a blue collar, working class city. Those wearing white collar in
executive jobs live up to an hour outside the city and commute each day,
but the heart of the city lives on a factory clock, it gets up early,
relaxes hard and is a constant production force. I had a tour guide/cab
driver on the to the Palace.. who filled me in on the ethnic, political
and social history of Detroit, as well as himself. So we traded views and
ideas on Kerry, Bush and Hillary Clinton, and his own personal history.
We talked about the importance of the family name, and he let me know that his first ancestor off the boat from Sicily was named Joseph Barroni.
Consequently, to this day, he has 22 first cousins and one brother named
Joseph Barroni. He lucked out, and his parents named him Larry.
The show was incredible. For those that care, I was in the first floor,
sitting in the corner, so had an amazing view of backstage and the whole
front piece, as well as the light show and the screens. It was actual
perfect. No one in Detroit could understand my accent, but it really was
amazing. As a stage manager, I was in love with the crowd illuminators
that weren’t blinding, and the revolving stage. Dave broke 3 guitar
strings and had his tech working all night, with the exception of two
tracks, there was a guitar change between every song.
There are some little rituals that you don’t read about in interviews, or
see on DVD’s. Like the nod and handshake between Carter Beauford and DM after each track, or the particular grin when they nail something. It was amazing.. and then it got better.
Here’s where it all comes together.. Keep On Rockin’ In The Free World,
totally counts as a DMB song for the night because they played it. And
they played it with Neil Young. Live and In Concert, guitar solos
abounding, Neil’s gray hair was bobbing all over the stage. Talk about a
triple decker bonus. I was dying. I really couldn’t breathe. Only some of
you will understand the depth of my experience. That’s okay. Don’t feel
bad, just go and spend some time reading and listening in the Borders
Music Library to get a vibe for the mega influence of this artist.
So after the show.. I caught a shuttle back into downtown Detroit with a
Russian/Palestinian cab driver. Yeah. It was an interesting conversation
as well. He had spent 7 years in London and chose to live in Michigan
because of the climate.
From downtown Detroit, I caught the 12.45am Greyhound back to Chicago. The homeless guys hang out in the bus shelter until the last bus leaves (mine) and make conversation with weary travellers. There were collections of young guys listening to homemade mixtapes heading to find jobs in Chicago, women travelling to visit family, a couple of tranvestites.. and who knows what they were travelling for. A couple were in the rear of the bus making a valiant effort at concieving their 2nd child whilst the first slept. The bus rollled on through the night, finally delivering me back into downtown Chicago at 5am. I made it home via cab and train by about 6am.
Worth it? Hell yes. The quintessential American experience rolled into
fourteen perfect hours.
There were some scary moments, and moments where joy and emotion were riding so high that I didn’t have words. The loneliest part was just not
being able to share it, in the wordless way of eye contact and smiles that
you share an experience with someone. But maybe you want to find someone to share an experience with, and relive the setlist, enclosed below for your enjoyment.. I suggest a decent merlot or suitable beverage, some soft lights, turning the phone off and soaking in the goodness.
Sunday Oct 3 2004
Palace of Auburn Hills
One Sweet World
Granny
Don’t Burn The Pig
Joy Ride
Song That Jane Likes
(Extended Intro)
Don’t Drink the Water
Tripping Billies
Hello Again
Stay
Sugar Will
All Along The Watchtower
Cortez The Killer
Rockin in the Free World
__________________
What Would You Say
Too Much
— Oh… then I went on another voyage.. that’s next. Stay tuned.
Tash
Letters From America: Satellite
Well, I’m here… Music City USA. It’s Nashville, Tennessee and it’s gorgeous.
But first… there’s a few more adventures.
I left Chicago on Tuesday, and as the rest of the team were leaving to head back to NZ, I was in Indianapolis. Home of speedway, big trucks, corn, horses.. in fact, just about anything to do with money, speed and racing. But the reason I was there was much more important.
My uncle has been in Indianapolis for 14 years, and a couple of years in Iowa before that. And it was the first time in ten years that we were seeing each other face to face. I was so excited and nervous.. not sure how it would go. Lots of family stuff had happened in the last few years.
But everything was cool. Strange and awkward at first.. when you all of a sudden have to transfer the 14 year old girl memories into 24 year old woman thoughts and conversation. But before too long we got used to each other again. He has a particularly dry sense of humour that now I recognize in some of the people that I love… and now I know where I found my penchant for that sense of humour. Bingo.. so many questions answered!! Uncle John just doesn’t suffer fools .. and so one of the most frequent phrases you’ll hear is ‘They’re not right’. Sometimes if it’s a particularly perplexing situation, that’s closely followed by ‘Not even close’. Needless to say, catching up with family news and various aspects of life, involved lots of those phrases. Lots of laughs.
Uncle John surprised me with the coolest trip ever. Only in Indianapolis for one night, then he took me to Florida!! Land of warmth and humidity. But good humidity. It was great. Seafood every night, margaritas every night, in every flavour. He and Valerie took me to Universal Studios, lots of shopping and then Downtown Disney. We had an amazing time getting lost in the Disney store as I laboured over Pooh Bear gifts for my sister. And Si.. you’ll die.. we came out of the restaurant next door to House of Blues at about 11, only to see that Joe Satriani had been playing there that night. AGHHH! But you can’t have too many great shows in one trip before you start losing friends back home… so. Yeah. Florida was great. It was too soon to leave, and too soon to leave John and Valerie.
We went home to Indianapolis to meet my friend Danielle. We drove out to a friend, Dean’s place and hung out with his horses and puppies, before heading out to meet Danielle, Aaron and Allison. Dean’s son is also a big DMB fan, and was actually at the Detroit concert that I was at.. he made me some CD’s. I like Indianapolis.
We met Dani and Co. at Mama Carolla’s Old Fashioned Italian Restuarant. An amazing restaurant and amazing to meet her face to face at last. The restuarant is old stucco, orginally built as a showhome to model the California/Mexican/Italian style of house that they were trying to introduce into the area. Filled with Fairy lights and soft furnishings, it was like dining in some romantic movie scene and the food was great.
Dani said I wasn’t as short as she was expecting, so as you can imagine, we are getting along great. We sat up last night, catching up .. and it’s felt as natural as can be. So we stayed another night at my uncle’s and left Indianapolis at about 6.45am. Uncle John even got up at that time to say goodbye, so Mum says that he must have enjoyed having me there. I’m pretty stoked about that because we’re already working on the list of things that I have to do next time I come. Family is too important.
The whole way down from Indy to Nashville, I was teary. I wasn’t sure if it was just the beauty of the sunrise over the fall leaves on the trees, or the lack of sleep and caffeine, or just the sadness of feeling such immense joy at reconnecting with my uncle, only to turn around and leave again.
Here’s something I was thinking today looking at those fall leaves turning though. It’s the way that life ought to end.. the end of a leaf is glorious. It’s brightest colour, it’s most dramatic impact. Those final moments are just glorious, and that’s how life ought to end for us.
We drove straight through Kentucky today, and then did a tour of Franklin, which is where Daniellle lives. Tomorrow we’ll tour through downtown Nashville, maybe even the Country Music Hall of Fame and some vintage guitar stores. You gotta look and dream, right? The Les Paul goldtop is huge here right now, so as long as I’m looking for anything but that, I’m sweet.
Should head to bed soon I think.
I hope that things are going well for y’all.
Tash
