I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be. But still, I am not what I used to be. And by the grace of God, I am what I am.
John Newton
A Eulogy Of Hope
There are a lot of funerals you go to, and leave feeling somewhat lifted. You leave having celebrated, remembered, laughed and farewelled. You share your grief and in that space the ‘knowingness’ of being with others comforts you.
I didn’t go to Tony’s funeral yesterday – I would have been a spectator to sorrows; but Kyla did and we shared and talked about it last night. Tony was so exceptional in every area of his life, with every person he encountered you hear the same stories and character retold.
The scary and terrifying thing about Tony’s life is that he did it so well. Lived so well and died so well, as Paul references. In 29 years he left a legacy of life that was already being celebrated before he died.
That is a challenge that rumbles in my spirit and shakes my bones. If I was to die now, what would the living legacy of my life be? I’m not satisfied with it all yet, although parts of it I think are good and worthy. Perhaps this new season will bring some hope of somehow living better with this life than I am now.
Song Of The Moment : Say It To Me Now
Glen Hansard
I’m scratching at the surface now
And I’m trying hard to work it out
So much has gone misunderstood
This mystery only leads to doubt
And I didn’t understand
When you reached out to take my hand
And if you have something to say
You’d better say it now
Cause this is what you’ve waited for
Your chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow
Cause this is what you’ve waited for
A chance to even up the score
And as these shadows fall on me now
I will somehow
Cause I’m picking up a message Lord
And I’m closer than I’ve ever been before
So if you have something to say
Say it to me now
Say it to me now
Say it to me now