by tashmcgill | Nov 19, 2014 | Culture & Ideas, Relationships
I am boarding a short flight from Las Vegas to Los Angeles. Soon, I’ll take an overnight flight they call the red-eye to my final destination. I’m drowsy and looking forward to a few hours of peace in my own mind during this stretch of travel.
The young Australian couple seating themselves behind me have other ideas. His nasal twang is behind my right ear within minutes of beginning to taxi. I can see him twisting in his seat, moving his shoulder away from his partner but pushing his face into hers. He spat out the words.
‘Get off me! We’re going to be next to each other for 15 bloody hours, the least you can do is give me this one flight without cuddling me to death.’
My mood breaks with a crack. My head hits the back of the seat and I can’t help but tilt my ear towards the rest of the conversation. Human observation is my skill and trade, inescapable even in a steel tube hurtling down a runway.
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by tashmcgill | Jun 20, 2012 | Monologue, Short Stories
She looks frazzled and tired, he looks frustrated but calm; trying to maintain patience. They’ve walked off a 21 hour flight to Australia to begin the adventure honeymoon of a lifetime. Their rings are glistening under fluorescent light and both are still fidgeting, getting used to the weight of warm metal against skin; twisting and admiring the statement it makes on each of their hands. Then the too-warm air of the airport arrivals terminal clouds in, the groaning luggage carousel clanks along and other passengers swarm in.
She pushes then pulls their luggage cart to a stop beside a queue of people pushing themselves towards the customs line. He tries to steal a kiss but she pushes him to one side and gestures to the carousel. He struggles his way through the crowd and back, one suitcase at a time. Now he’s made three trips and is torn between anxiously looking for the next bag and glancing back at his wife, tapping her foot and waiting for her iPhone to find signal. By the time he returns with the fourth bag, those over-packed full size suitcases perilously stacked on the cart, she’s done with the phone and marching through the lines towards fresh air.
Now it’s his turn to sigh and hustle, creeping closer to people slightly ahead of them in the queue.
Maybe he’s anxious to shower and change or just to get his wife into more comfortable surrounds but now it’s his frustration that claws at the atmosphere. Here’s where I learn their story – he’s from Oklahoma, she’s from Los Angeles. They’ll be here for two weeks. I look at the luggage, I look back to them. She explains one bag is shoes, and I laugh – embarrassed but amused at the easy cliche. Their itinerary is jam-packed, they’ll cover New South Wales, Victoria and Queensland, not to mention a flying visit to Uluru and she has a pair of shoes for every occasion. She pulls him close, looks up into his face with a moment of calm. I feel relieved; they were making me anxious but I run out of time to tell them why. I hit the security fast-track lane and leave with my hopes for them heavy in my head.
“Dear American Honeymooners,
Please slow down. You’re running the risk of missing each other in your rush not to miss a thing. Don’t fall into the trap of writing a to-do list that doesn’t leave you anytime to make memories of what it was like to be together in that place. Don’t set a pace for your life you can’t maintain. You’ll leave one another behind.
Please pack less. I’m not sure what you were planning on doing, but life just doesn’t need that much baggage. Love is only helped with great hair and nails, it isn’t made. Buy more lingerie and fewer pairs of jeans. Be light on your feet. We carry each other – learn not to be too heavy when you are expecting someone else to carry your bags.
I hope you have a wonderful time, see all sorts of things you’ve never imagined before and have your childlike wonder engaged with creativity, nature and breathing the air of the one you love. Love each other well – you deserve it. You came a long way to get here.
Oh – one last thought. I’m a big believer in shoes. They’re glamorous, enigmatic, practical, empowering and often necessary. But they’re also the difference between staying home and going out. A great shoe isn’t a personality that you put on, but it expresses something of your persona. Learn to wear your lover like one great pair of shoes. The ones that become an extension of who you are. The ones you can’t live without. The ones that make you feel strong enough to climb mountains and fast enough to run for cover. Warm like slippers and a fireplace, easy like Chucks you wear everywhere. And keep walking in them. Live in your love the way you live in your shoes. You’ll need less of them, you’ll take better care of them, you’ll nurture and protect them, you’ll take a lot of pride in them when they’re the only pair you’ve got.
Wishing you all the best,
T.”
by tashmcgill | Jun 24, 2011 | Culture & Ideas
I have a Just-In-Case box. Everytime I move house, I unpack it until eventually I need to repack it to move again. Sometimes, I’ve been known to take items from the box with me on travels to foreign lands, beach walks and up windy hills before dawn. It’s the box of things I keep Just-In-Case I need to remember, to reconnect or to rekindle something in me or between myself and old friends. Adding something to the box is never easy – it’s almost always bittersweet. To keep a memory sometimes means to have lost a present reality. Like when my aunty died, or my grandfather, or my first dog.
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by tashmcgill | Dec 11, 2007 | Love & Marriage, Relationships
A few years ago, I let love grow deeply within my heart. It didn’t grow into anything fruitful, at least not on the outside. But I learned a lot about how to love someone wholly and completely.
It’s so easy to craft an image of love that is somehow shallow and momentarily fulfilling, pinning that to an ideal of romantic soulmates. As if somehow solving the mystery, finding your way through the maze to the goal of love fulfills purpose. In doing so, it can be so easy then to look around your present circumstances and feel less than.
However, when I think about the belly-shaking, heart-warming feeling that you’re supposed to get at the end of romantic movies… I get that all the time. In fact, I get that feeling every second day or so just opening my email inbox and seeing the names there.. people from all over the world that know me and dare I say.. like me and love me even a little bit.
After all – whether I am partnered by a lover, or by a team, or by my dearest friends… the expression of love may vary, but deep true Love in my life is present, and what I have of Love right now is more than enough. To be known in words, deeds, mannerisms. People who know what I’m thinking – I have all those things. People who stand beside me and love me, correct me and cheerlead. There are even people who believe in me more than I believe in myself… so what more is there? Anything more than this would be an abundance.. and a good good blessing, but not necessary. The Love I have right now is big and gutsy and resounding. I feel it in my belly all the way to my toes. I speak out the names of Love in my life and feel stronger and stronger.
Perhaps, it is the fear that I will be ok and that perhaps all the waiting is better spend in living. Because the Love I have is so much more than I could imagine or dream of. Perhaps it is the fear that in letting go of our peer expectations, our definitions of fulfilment, our idea of satisfaction.. we will be irrevocably changed. Is it enough to be satisfied, to love well and be well loved? To find expressions of physical intimacy that are appropriate and safe, that are engaged in the best of humanity. To recognise the fullness of life in the oneness of human life. To suggest that the key to Genesis is the ‘helpmeet’, the partnership..
In fact to go one step further and suggest that we are called to partner with each other in many varied and unique ways.. and these connections of love, expression and strength are in fact, the deepness and beauty of being in Love.
The love that I share, and am blessed with is still deep, abiding, gutsy love.
Not all women want to be maidens pursued. But then there are times when you do. Sometimes I want to be rescued, and sometimes I just want to be cheered on from the sidelines. Sometimes I really want other people to take charge, and sometimes no one needs to be in charge. The image I like most is discovering Love where it has already been waiting to be seen. The revelation of where Love is already abiding. I have a friend who I’ve known for years that I’m only just uncovering a deep Love for, a shared partnership and commonality. Still… I’m just a girl, and I’m prone to change my mind.
