Gasping – Easterwatch 06 (nine weeks to go)
Today finds me in tears, and feeling at the end of my rope a little. In the midst of trying to recreate and redesign a number of the elements of Eastercamp – I have found myself without the assistance and participation of one of my trustiest guides and helpers. For circumstances that I know are reasonable, he’s had to pull out. Even though camp is nine weeks away, it’s still at the last minute and it feels terrible and foreboding. All the peace I had two weeks ago has disappeared in the light of the past few events and now I feel the pressure overwhelmingly so.
I don’t know which way to go forward .. i need to get back onto my ‘creative flow’ .. and to get back in touch with the connectivity and peace of God at work in this thing. Nothing feels easy or comfortable or even achievable. Too many new things and too many unknowns and all of a sudden everyone is looking at me to achieve what seems impossible.
So today is the last straw and I want to cry and struggle and be held and reassured.