Weave A Wicked Web

The heart is a funny thing .. it can fool you into all sorts of paralytic emotions, and push you into writhing inner conflict as you wrestle, head against heart to make sense of whatever predicament you are most currently in.

Eventually though.. one must always win, and so you let your heart run wild or you hold it back to the principles and values that your head so wisely esteems. You make sense of it, and you force yourself to live within boundaries that are reasonable.

Seems like a lot of the time, people are living within fragile little cocoons. Territories clearly and carefully marked out, boundaries firmly in place. They dictate our behaviours, our thinking, our gauge of social boundaries and ettitquette. There are almost no limits to that which we can limit under the banner of decency.

I’ve been conversing with a number of people, just ruminating and thinking on circumstances that we find ourselves in. The extent to which we hold ourselves back from truly living in committed authentic relationship – the things that drive and motivate us towards our intimate connections, the safety of trying to create depth in our most distant relationships.

Lots of things to think about it, and an interesting time to be thinking about it all. I’ve been reviewing that over the past six months I’ve been consistently adding new people to my circle, and therefore, I’ve been asking the question about how honestly I am living with those people. And even with those that I see most often and spend the most proximate time with – how honestly do I live with them?

My primal need to be protected and cared for, looked after – I’ve grown more and more aware of what that triggers in me – and how the dark side creates unrealistic expectations on those around me to care and protect me. Interesting, how after all these years of trying to figure out the impact of my parents on me – I see myself raised to be incredibly independent and living in a highly-independant way – yet inwardly I’m desperate to be dependant (perhaps to the point of co-dependancy), vunerable and in need of others. Hilarious.

Where does Jesus fit in?

I’ve Got A Picture Of Jesus
Late last year, I realised that one of the significant models of Christ is my uncle. Which is weird – but it’s that whole protected, cared for, known element – a sense of having a place of belonging, of him being aware of me and looking out for me. Summers spent hanging with my uncle and aunty were safe and carefree places where the angst of home was far far far away. And within that – the idea of God the protector has really taken hold.

Last night at youth group – the discussion night was based around this – draw or create a picture of Jesus using whatever you like – words, images, stories. Then each of the groups had to present their pictures.

Nearly every single one was focussed on the salvation role of Jesus, Lord and Saviour. None, bar one, made any mention of his personality or personhood. Even then it was his trade as a carpenter that was mentioned.

So I raised the question, because as we head towards Eastercamp I am mindful of the injustice of considering Jesus only in relation to his role in the salvation story. That brings us smack dab into the middle of that nasty equation of ‘Born to Die’ that is so distasteful and throws out the meaning and relevance of the life of Jesus the Man. Homework for the group was to go away and come up with a significant discovery about Jesus the man – something about him that isn’t related to the Resurrection or the Perfect Sacrifice. It will be interesting to see what happens. Even some of my leaders were challenged in the shortcut thinking approach they had taken to the task – one even bailed me up very angry that I was suggesting it wasn’t enough to merely consider the aspect of Jesus, Lord and Saviour.

What do you think?