Remaking An Unsatisfactory Girl (unHoly Pieces).

Song Of The Moment : A Mirror Is Harder to Hold
by Jon Foreman

You could stay a while longer
We could stay up and talk about last summer
We could go down to the water, watch the sunset goin’ under
Its not that I’m a stranger to lonely moments
I’ve had my share of those
Please don’t go please don’t leave me alone
A mirror is so much harder to hold

I could try to point a finger
But the glass points in my direction
Sure you’ve got your sharp edges but my wounds are from my own reflection
You’ve got nothing I could ever hold against you
Ive got fatal flaws to call my own
Please don’t go, please don’t leave me alone
A mirror’s so much harder to hold

I met a man who was looking for perfection
Said he’d never met a girl who was good enough
His eyes are getting old like they’d love to love again
Such a lonely man
Such a lonely man

I see him in my reflection taking steps toward me these days
So I hold you that much closer and pray we don’t throw this away
It’s not that I’m a man who couldn’t love you
I know what these arms are for

Please don’t go please don’t leave me alone
A mirror’s so much harder to hold
A mirror’s so much harder to hold
Please don’t go please, don’t leave me cold
A mirror’s so much harder to hold

The Satisfaction
Inspired by a really off-the-mark sermon on sexual desires and temptation, I’ve been contemplated many things along the lines of gender stereotypes, church mythology, social sexuality … some of my favourite topics.

The Christian ideal of perfection (espoused on Sunday “whatever sexual mistakes you make before marriage will absolutely create a negative impact and baggage that is unavoidable in your future marriage, jeopardising your future sexual relationship”) becomes increasingly prevalent..

…. perfect sexual morality (complete lack of sexual thought & engagement prior to marriage)
…. the trade-off for this sexual purity is the provision of a perfect sexual & relational harmony in marriage

They are similar myths to…

…. because you are a Christian God will provide a husband/wife who is (select as many of the following that apply to your tastes) perfect | goodlooking | sexually expressive | spiritually competent | suits your tastes completely | able to satisfy you completely

or in simpler language – Mr. Right and Princess Perfect.

But it’s our imperfections that drive us to the heart of God. It’s others imperfections that compell us to the character of Christ.

My fear is that too many of us/friends/whoever have traded in learning to love well for the certainty and assuredness of finding a love we are convinced will satisfy us.

I am heartbroken for I recognise I am less than satisfactory, ill-equipped to satisfy many. I have pretty words, a deep heart and plenty of laughs to share .. but I could never satisfy completely.. I am not the complete Love.

Perhaps I am too hard on myself. Perhaps I am too hard on others.. but I do not want to be entirely satisfied. I want always to be left a little wanting. A little space that reminds me, completion is not in the life of a Lover, but in a triangle of Lovers… unHoly and Holy pieces coming together.

oh i’m less than satisfactory
but i am hidden mysteries
and depths so deep you could search me
for centuries and still
i’d surprise you but you don’t know
anything about how i could satisfy you

you’d learn to love the whiskey on my tongue
and the tattooed things you’d see when i’m undone
and you’d be satisfied with the food of my table
and the songs of my journals, all the words i gather
setting you on fire, the people i love
and the God i follow, you’d love the taste of honey
‘cos nothing is what is seems, least of all, the satisfaction.

What do you think?