I’m a production junkie. Really, nowadays, most times I go to big shows… I’m going for the production, the lights, staging, the stagecraft and performance element. I know that it will sound better at home on my stereo, but the magic of the live show is awesome.
This is a timelapse video of Mainstage at Parachute Festival 09, where I was worked with my good friend Jozsef, who was running the show. Good times, fun times. Check out how we rock it kiwi-styles.
I love what Facebook does for scrapbooking and journaling people’s lives. I especially love that I can see frequently updated photos of people that I have known and loved in my lifetime.
But here’s a little story for you…
In today’s updated photos, were some new shots from a girl who was never really an ugly duckling at all. In fact, she was always talented, incredibly outgoing and vivacious. She never slighted anyone who she considered below her social status – she mixed with geeks and freaks alongside the sporty and popular kids.
Now, in her mid-20’s, she’s a knockout. She’s still an irregular height, but she has luminescent eyes. What most people don’t realise, is the stunning musical talent she has, both in voice and instrument.
I remember many late night milkshakes with her, talking about school, faith, being different people in different places. She was one of those kids at 16, you felt really belonged in the life of a 20 year old. I always liked her, thought she had real grit about her – a cliched “old soul”.
I remember commenting to a friend of mine at the time, a Christian teacher at her school, how much I had enjoyed spending time with her the night before. The replying comment with scoffing laugh, referenced this girl as the “school bike”.
I’m looking at her photograph, so beautiful, so full of life, the laughter and resonance pouring out of her. I’m thinking about the way she encouraged the less active kids on that outdoor camp and her compassion and grace with the older people at church, the ones that other kids would’ve brushed past in a moment.
I’m furious then and now with the foolishness of that teacher’s perspective. The presumption of her behaviour, good or bad. He had no idea that she was remotely involved in faith or anything like it – which showed a lack of perceptiveness also.
It made me think of Adam’s post here.
Imagine if she’d heard the tone of his voice. Imagine if she realized the perception the staff of that school had. Imagine the frailty of persona in it’s fresh new emerging forms. The ugliness of those words and that phrase… a complete contrast to the young woman engaged on screen before me. A frontier of space between the student he described and the girl I’ve known for all these years. There’s no deception here, she simply was nowhere near the girl he described, all puff and wind and smoke. Even when I spoke to her directly about it some years later – it remains clear to one who has eyes and ears, she was never any such thing.
In the last brief five minutes, I’ve had to fight back the urge to pick up the phone, to remind him with sharp words and a blistering tongue, precisely how wrong he was.
What a fool, who grasps not the beauty before him, or the foolishness of his words.
In that moment, it was he that lost my respect, and she that gained my favour. For what student ought ever, to be so condemned by one entrusted to teach, shape, guide and shepherd?
I wrote a leadership blurb recently talking about the concept of sharing knowledge, rather than hoarding it, as a method of building and developing your leadership and influence.
It’s a really important idea and a major ideological shift from boomer-type leadership strategy to egalitarian GenY-friendly model. So, increasingly, in business, church & community leadership this method of sharing knowledge is really one of opening doors and creating opportunity for others to step into the conversation, offering something of their own to the collective whole, even if it’s just presence to the conversation, that shapes and develops their own potential. All this, is influence.
Why do I think this matters? Because historically in the last thirty years, especially in ministry circles, especially in youth ministry circles – we have struggled as a collective faith body, to make spaces and develop healthy dialogue around how and why we do what we do.
So those that have struggled to find a place have moved the conversations they long for, into other, alternate spheres. This brings both great discovery, great adventure.. and sadness. Because the conversations that develop in separate worlds, by their nature, become so easily conflicted, instead of conducive to growth, mutual understanding and broadening of our worlds. As we grow new approaches to leadership – the young and emerging push and struggle for their place. But if they simply choose to separate for the long-haul – then we all suffer. Really, this is no more than stating the obvious in a more minute example of Phyllis Tickle’s theory/observation of ‘rummage sales’.
The best teaching pastors I’ve ever had and still regard, are the ones who led me along with them to their conclusions and thoughts, because sharing the process invites healthy dialogue. Sharing the process enables the asking of questions about the journey, not simply arguing over the destination and conclusion. It teaches me and teaches the teacher. So yes, Steve, I think you are right… that sharing how we think, is an engaging and critical part of this ‘wisdom’. It makes space for doubt, questions, hope, discussion and alternate endings.
Perhaps most importantly for teenagers and young adults – by sharing the ‘how’, we intimate the presence of ‘time’ in our own thinking and learning. And Time, gives permission to breathe, to question, to doubt, to argue and wrestle with for yourself. Time… one of the most beautiful gifts to youth ministry and the thing we run in fear of passing. Time to doubt, time to get it wrong, time to be learning, instead of cataloging what we have learnt.
At the end of the day, where is this most important? Where do we know this so surely from? The desire and quest for wisdom and understanding – that unique process of learning how to engage in Learning?
The endless questions of five year olds. The aching confusion of teenagers. Share what you are learning and how you are learning and un-learning it – because it gives permission to those who long to do the same.
Share wisdom, share your Learning stories – don’t settle for sharing Answers, which ultimately, may not be the answer you need to offer at all.
Articles like this sometimes.
But books like Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors by my friend (presumptious?) Mark Riddle are insightful and brilliant and practical and accessible.
If you mistakenly thought this was some kind of long-awaited self-help book* for youthworkers (hey, now there is an idea for the YS bookshelves!), you would be off by a mile. But, it is in fact, a very helpful self-help book for your youth ministry and your youth staff/volunteer relationships, especially and particularly with senior church staff and leadership.
I am really grateful for Mark’s insights, reality checks and helpful approach to building honest, truthful, supportive and encouraging relationships between senior pastors and youth workers because he tackles tough issues, very real issues, in a precise and unrelenting way. Through it all, he maintains a warmth and genuine tone, where you get the sense, this guy is on your side. In fact, regardless of whether you’re a senior pastor, sole pastor, volunteer or youth pastor.. you get the feeling he’s on your side.
Chapters, Highlights, Sidenotes…You’ll Notice..
Endorsements.. There are a pile of them. And from good quality people, who come from a wide range of places and perspectives. Most praise both Mark the person and the work. Which is always a good sign. There are so many endorsements that actually – you ought to read them for their own sake.
Short Chapters.. Busy people will be reading this book, but while these short chapters are easy to read – they require thoughtful response and ask brilliant questions. My overall sense was that there are no words wasted. Stories are well placed but not overdone.
He Gets It.. Mark legitimately does get inside the mind of youthworkers from all walks and variance of experience, in addition to really understanding the driving motivations behind a lot of church youth ministry stories. He does a good job of identifying not just the wrestles of youthworkers and youth ministry, but the ongoing demands placed on senior leadership in the broader scope of church to deliver on certain expectations. And he unpacks the internal motivations of us all as leaders. *Reading this book in fact, was a little bit of a personal healthcheck.
Great Centerfold Diagrams.. This book isn’t just about seeking the Spirit and relying on discernment, feelygood feelings. No, there’s actual HR theory, relational theory and communication theory woven right through the core. Reading this book, even just the centerfold, will make you a better parent, friend, boss, employee and romantic love interest.
Discussion Questions.. From the outset, Mark addresses that you may be reading this book in order to put something in place, to instigate change, or healthy process, to invigorate and build trust with your staff team. So he gives you great, cut to core discussion questions to use, and guides you through the process of implementation and building relationship. This is like a pastoral book that wants to give you really helpful tools.
Process, Practicalities and Positioning Statements.. Mark really clearly addresses the process of deciding why, how, who, what and when that a church goes through in appointing staff, no holds barred, healthy and unhealthy, from every angle. Gives you a look to think about to fit your own circumstances into the spectrum. You’ll feel good and bad. That’s ok. He then speaks practically about basic things to get right and to avoid in the interview and employment process for both sides!! Yes, two ticks. Then he also makes some brave and brief positioning statements about practical choices.. especially in regards to ..
Catalytic Leadership (pg.78) – Most churches want the fruit of catalytic leadership, that looks to them like engaged and passionate young people ought to look, but rarely are they prepared or wanting the chaos and turmoil that a Catalytic Leader brings.
Ideal Youth Pastor Age (pg.81) – Mark puts forward a brief but well constructed, legitimate argument for maturity in youth pastors.
Healthy Churches .. – There is a clear picture of what a healthy church is/isn’t, does/doesn’t. Including the approach of self-revelation it takes in the interview and employment process.
Issues.. Ministry envy and comparison, performance anxiety, communication meltdowns.
My Own Particular Standouts And Notes
1. Characteristics of youth pastor expectations, what’s expected of them and what they expect of the job.
2. Connection between the overspiritualization and emotional connectedness that develops in the interview process.
3. The packaging doesn’t always match the product (ie: how to sell yourself article above!)
4. The Blame Game – performance anxiety and deference, role of responsibility in every aspect of leadership, including church’s responsibility.
5. This book offers invaluable insight into overall church behaviour patterns.
6. The influence of theology on staffing can take you by surprise. Reminds me of the “budget reflects the values of the church” talk I heard Brian Winslade give.
7. The importance and place of unexpressed vision in volunteers.
8. Churches do have strong values that form the organizational ideas around youth ministry, even if it’s not formally expressed in ‘vision’.
9. EXPERTISE – often churches want the approval/rhetoric of a Youth Ministry expert but only to affirm their existing plan of action.
10. Catalytic Leadership – the classic case of be careful what you wish for.
11. Ladder of Inference – often the product of relational neglect, the consequences of Isolation (relationally neutral), Alienation (relationally negative) and Condemnation (the end is near).
12. Young People – what about young people in the process? Chp 17 – 20, look at the relationship with young people.
Conclusion
The next book called the “un-Official Church Staff Manual” is going to be an excellent companion piece, because consistently “Inside the Mind” will lead you think… man, this book is really for the whole church. Not just Youth Ministry.
Check back for the blog tour later on.
I’m a naughty blogger these days – promising updates and failing to deliver, but this time I blame sickness.. so there are some of my thoughts reflections on the previous notes, just a couple of thoughts that stuck out, I’m holding them here.
Globalization – we’ve been driven by a global economic market.*
Interesting though, that while the global economy has led and driven western society to the this point, it seems there is a subliminal shift and seeking of what the drivers of society ought to be, certainly with a movement away from placing fiscal responsibility in the hands of a confidence-based market for profit. So – my pitch is that money people will have to become wiser and slower, especially as the southern hemisphere responds to the northern hemisphere “rescue packages”. Students becoming more engaged will start to use their knowledge of international economics and policy in financial planning, decision-making and eventually this will lead to a new brand of politics and government as Boomers move on.
Graduate Work Experience – Work has become a means to an end throughout student career, paid employment is to support the ‘important stuff’. Exposes the dualism present, most do not operate in a culture where work is connected to purpose.**
Starts with the allowance for chores model. Work = money = lifestyle & experience. The more redundant our education systems become with knowledge for knowledge’s sake, the more dependent people become on entertainment rather than enlightenment. Most ‘purpose’ jobs are even then, ongoing self-actualisation tasks. Working for credit, achievement, fame, glory. Offer work experiences that are fulfilling and worthwhile, the purpose/entertainment factor starts to balance out – especially taking into consideration already successful models. Consider most ‘church/faith’ programmes or community practices and what the balance is between ‘work/study/obligation’ in order to gain ‘experience/community/intimacy/relationship’. Small groups, bible study, service projects.. yet service projects are one of the fastest growing models for young adult ministry. Why? Will it be successful longterm?
Cultural Complexity – I am my own brand***
Cultural Complexity – multi ethnic diversity on campus and expanding in the wider populus****
The mosaic world we live is creates enormous questions over identity.*****
I will hopefully post more on this BUT – This area of multi-cultural multi-generationalism is absolutely fascinating to me, especially because NZ is a hotbed of continual new immigration, from Asia Pacific, South Africa, Africa and further afield. These ongoing cycles do pose interesting possibilities.
I’ve thought for a long time, that the pick’n’mix approach many students carry into their university/graduate faith is not that bad. Sure, we get frustrated with the ‘lack of commitment’ but actually this kind of ‘pick your adventure path’ attitude to defining your own identity within multicultural environments, does apply to those who select elements to build their own faith practices. (Understand I’m speaking strictly about faith practices, not beliefs.) Thus, the fabric of their spiritual community is defined by the pieces and threads they tie together.
Using the “Believe/Behave/Belong” model in unison rather than focusing on one element is a big challenge but important.******
Ok, so I just got confused here, and I’m looking for someone to correct me. I’ve only ever been exposed or conversed around the 3B’s as a way of viewing, observing the values shifting between generations. I guess the natural response of that, is to then based ministry approaches on those most present felt-needs. But I don’t think that how it was applied here was necessarily right? Essentially I think I am still more of a Youth Ministry 3.0 girl – affinity does take priority over the others.
Other Reflections
As with so many things, it’s nearly impossible to stay completely current, I’m constantly updating my own research and observations. Also, I think we also have to shift our thinking when it comes to the boundaries and definitions around youth ministry/tertiary ministry etc.
The reality is, while youth culture continues to grow in it’s domination of the 11 – 38 year old segement, the niche youth sectors become more specific.
For example, the difference in interests, fashion, music, technology, work/study balance.. these used to be points of great difference where mass groups moved in unison between these lifestages. Like when every kid from Sunday School turned 5 and started school in the same year – 12months and everyone was on the same page again.
However, think about:
Those retraining, returning to post-grad study
Those shifting jobs and career paths every 3-5 years
Those embracing marriage/children/defacto relationships/divorcing
Travelling overseas / living overseas
Buying and selling property & setting up house (Living away from the family home)
Those in vocational training rather than tertiary training
Those part-time working / part-time studying or parenting or creating
Who own and drive vehicles
Who use drugs/alcohol recreationally or habitually
Each of these aspects or areas of life could apply to anyone 15 – 40 years, because many of those critical choices being made in the tween and teen years, are now being revisited in the early adult years – but the culture remains largely the same, influenced by dominant youth culture trends. The number of 15+ having children, living independently, leaving school earlier than previously is continuing to rise.
So, if you go to trying to identify key tasks of youth ministry, I think it gets pretty easy to see, that most of it still applies to that ‘young adult’ sector. Sometimes, especially more so, as some adolescent experiences are intensified or only present in the latter stages of adolescence (smack bang in the middle of 18 – 24 years sector).