by | Apr 1, 2006 | Uncategorized

Who Am I?

I’m stuck in a moment and I’m not escaping it .. I’m listening to the White Stripes “We Are Gonna Be Friends”. It’s 2.30am on Sunday morning. I’m feeling wide-awake. In the minutes it took me to piece those words together into a sentence, one song has become another. I’m feeling wide-awake. Doing this test from Dani’s site took up some time.
Just cos you might be curious, here’s who the web says I am ..
My Personal Dna Report

The Cold Cold Night
In putting words to the screen, I am finally finding the sleepy roll of the eyes I was longing for hours ago. I’ve been wasting time until I could hold my eyes open any longer .. for the sake of avoiding the moments spent lying awake avoiding the blankness of the ceiling.

I have a billion thoughts running through my head and the person that I most want to talk to about them just isn’t here. The next person I’d like to talk about them, probably isn’t that interested, and the third is my mother. I’m not sure what she would think.

Thoughts
There are moments of clarity that make the mundane melodramatic, and harken our hearts to a sense of deeper mystery than we might otherwise see in the day to day. Tonight was one such moment, as I picked up a copy of the North Shore Times featuring a front page interview and photo with Blake. Here’s a copy of the official press release from the Vice-Chancellors office. Something about the angle that they took on the article (he is planning an undergrad degree in biochemistry, hoping to work on researching cancer cures) and the photograph of him wearing his regular clothes, his regular cross around his neck = smiling in that relaxed kind of way he has; brought the reality of his imminent departure home a little more.

The realisation that he will never be the same, but also that he will inevitably now end up doing things for the cause of greater humanity. I will soon be accused of being over-emotional about the whole thing – but he’s been such an enormous encouragement and support over the past few weeks.. the roles completely reversed! I thought I was the pastor. I find myself writing advice to him in my head .. things that don’t make sense like “don’t be in a rush to grow up too fast, but don’t stay a kid too long.” It’s in the aftermath of that, I realise he’s already grown up and interacting with the world and a ridiculously overprotective streak in me, wants to say no.. that he is too precious for the world to spoil with any more cynicism, evil or hopelessness.

by | Apr 1, 2006 | Uncategorized

Culture Overload

The observant will notice a few changes to the sidebar. No offence Sam, but you really should update that thing or it’s history! Added to the rota.. Mama Roni has become part of the blogosphere, Tim has moved and Jes & Liam have their own little webspace to keep track of the adorable things they say and do.

Aside from web news, I’ve seen more movies this week than I’ve seen for the past 6 months. Crash, The Constant Gardener, Sione’s Wedding and tonight Lord of War.

Check back for the reviews.

by | Mar 28, 2006 | Uncategorized

Baby It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over
My sister in Port Hedland is on alert for Category 4 cyclone about to hit the coast where she is. She’s been called into work to ride out the storm. Sounds like an adventure. Can’t wait to hear her story! Also .. prayers of course.

Great Volunteers
Here’s what’s great about having been at Windsor for 3 years now…. people. There’s a base of relationship and people.. people who care about what I care about… people who want to help out. I’ve been slowly growing in my deep appreciation of those who give up their own stuff in order to help me with mine. They are phenomenal people.

Everything Is Beautiful – Here’s What I’m Doing

I’m watching the news and listening to Jane. The reports are flooding in about the cyclones building off the coast of Western Australia, where my darling sister is. Only two weeks there really and she’s already having some marvellous adventures.

I’m thinking about friends from long ago and wondering about the coinciding circles that connect us to each other and I’m hoping that one day from a more eternal perspective I will understand it more. And then I’ll be able to decide if I’m a Calvinist or not. I’m experiencing tendencies towards open theism because of recent events but I know that I’m not satisfied with speculations.

Meanwhile.. the rain keeps falling in segments, rattling my windowpanes and whistling wind around my ears as I lie in bed.

I’m working on Eastercamp stuff. Fun and challenging. I’m trying to find sense in the madness of making a programme that is meaningful and does any sense of justice to the Gospel story.

Yup.

by | Mar 28, 2006 | Uncategorized

So Much Things To Say
As per usual so many things to say because I’ve been in such poor blog-form. However I’m not as bad as some! We are fourteen days from camp and I’m feeling calm. And I’m not taking drugs, I am taking vitamins and I’m basically taking care of myself.

Excellent aye.

I was driving through Ponsonby back onto the northern side of the Harbour Bridge the other day. I say a sign painted onto a fence – one of those concrete plastered fences that has a special wooden frame reserving space for posting bills. It’s kinda archaic and yet nice that Ponsonby, and the outskirts of Ponsonby so desperately want to stay down to the People’s People. Anyway – it was a painted advertisement for the Freeman’s Bay School fair. Got me thinking about the kids that go to Freeman’s Bay School. For the most part, they are some of the least free children in our city.

They are trapped by mountainous expectations, parents who have sacrificed so much to gain so little, when it comes to being in the trendy suburbs. Today I read an article archived online, about Onehunga being about to become the next ‘It’ suburb. Well, ten years on from that 1995 piece of brilliance.. Onehunga is still Onehunga – and I still am not that cool, for having gone to Royal Oak Primary. My short stay at Gladstone is now something to crow about – depending on how you feel about the modernisation of Mt Albert, with it’s hip, new designer families .. breaking out from artsy Grey Lynn and Kingsland to the outer cool of semi-suburban droll.

Seems so pointless to me, because according to the creativity and design being applied to that painted boardsign on Jervois Rd, the latest hip, up-and-coming zone is going to be Freeman’s Bay. Where no-one’s really free, especially not the land underneath the houses, or the sand that was reclaimed from the sea to build upon.

Freeman – whoever was he, that lived so close to a city, that longs to be more than it is, and could be, it breathes possibility.

Nathan King
I went to a Nathan King Showcase last week. It was phenomenal .. mainly because of the amazing energy of the gats & kit. It was earthy and new and fresh, and had tired edges where you could see the pools of sweat and emotion that have marinated it as a project. I’m not sure whether the true project is the album that’s been produced at the end of it, or the life and spark it gave those who birthed it .. and in there is something to ponder, for those of us who are ‘midwiving’ in our day-to-day.

Midwiving
The offer has been made, and the deadline set. I think it was unexpected that I wouldn’t accept the job offer first hat. I have some concerns.. firstly it’s a one year project to redesign and shape creative ministries in the process of the community it’s serving being under examination and review. Seems a little scary to put a timeline of achievement on that. However – I understand the need to see me prove myself .. I just haven’t wrestled through the implications of that yet… although I need to. By Thursday.

Wish me luck, this baby may well be breech.

by | Mar 20, 2006 | Uncategorized

Mouths Of Babes

Jes: Are you going to work today? After you drop me at kindy?
Me: Yup.
Jes: So you’re going to work. You’re going to work at church aye?
Me: Yup.
Jes: Did you go to work at church yesterday?
Me: Yup.
Jes: Oh. What was the man talking about yesterday?