by tashmcgill | Jan 7, 2008 | god ideas, Uncategorized
It’s just after midnight and the rain is starting to fall hard on my tent, in the middle of a field in Feilding. It’s been an interesting day – working on usual work stuff and Fairfax deadlines whilst in the middle of a festival.
Personal highlights so far have included a couple of special chats with people in regards to the camp, ideas and structure. It’s also been great to have the chance to share what I hope and pray have been significant words with people I care about.
Today Rich Johnson and Matty Bruns from St Pauls turned up – Rich knows lots of people I know, so hopefully we’ll continue to have the opportunity to connect, especially because we are so closely proximated during the week. In a former life, I worked at the same radio station as Matty, and ocassionally churched together and generally have swung in some of the same circles. He’s just been employed as the youth and student worker at St Pauls, after a long time working for Attitude – a youth work organisation with a difference, working with inschool presentations on health and lifeskills.
Sam took us to lunch and we had the opportunity to talk long and hard about all sorts. It was really great to connect with Matty and have the opportunity to have mini-rants. I’m really hopeful of the opportunity to continue to connect, share ideas and sharpen one another. It’s all good.
Soul Survivor – More Thoughts.
1. Talking with Matty illuminated something I had been trying to put my finger on. There is an enormous sense of old school Summer Harvests from the mid-late 80’s and mid 90’s about Soul Survivor – in regards to the simplicity of the main programme. It’s all singing and speaking, then followed by waiting on God, more singing, more prayer. There’s nothing wrong with it at all but it doesn’t feel all complete either – so that’s something interesting to consider.
2. There is so much waiting on God and expectation of the Holy Spirit to move that one could almost feel drained of spontaneity. Even tonight when we engaged in a time of prayer and “waiting on the Holy Spirit” at the end of the first worship bracket – to the extent that Sam didn’t speak tonight and probably will tomorrow… but balance that with the beauty and gentleness of how God was speaking and moving tonight in that time. It was great to pray for people in this environment, even if it does feel like a timewarp to another time and space.
>Interject….
Is it a movement sideways, forward or back? Have we moved on with or without reason? There was a time when all the Baptist events I went to had this same flavour – and similarly amongst the Pentecostal church. Now there is a tangible absence – so what has changed? Us, the Spirit, the expectation, the preparedness?
3. With such a strong emphasis on prayer ministry, more specifically ministry of the Holy Spirit, where ‘prayers’ are referred to as ‘enablers’ and asked not to pray specifically other than to ‘bless’ and ‘pray with’ the work of the Holy Spirit; it seems really really out of place to not have a follow up process for kids/adults who are responding and experiencing significant things with the Spirit. There’s no response room or followup, rather the prayers pray without verification, qualification etc, and there are no names transferred. The work that is “God’s to do, not ours” .. also then stands alone from ongoing supportive community work and accountability.
4. Casual observation allows one to see a lot of personality types, leadership structures, leadership styles and habits when you have the freedom to simply watch and see how people operate with one another. It’s a lonely environment to a certain extent because the core of the whole ministry/mission project is built on relationships within a core group, that then radiate into other corresponding and intersecting relationships. Unless you are structurally integral to the core of those relationships – it’s easy to feel divorced from understanding the cultural emphasis and momentum of what’s goine on here. So – I have to learn to undo the eyes that see with what I commonly experience, and begin to see with new eyes that can learn from being in this place too.
by tashmcgill | Jan 7, 2008 | god ideas, Uncategorized
Please spare some thoughts and prayers right now for Kenya, especially the people at the heart of the conflict in Nairobi. You can read about the crisis online from a humanitarian perspective here. you can find bloggers perspectives on the human impact and what will make a difference at allafrica.com.
Our world is full of despair and hopelessness on so many levels. We are barely competent or responsive to the issues. Darfur is suffering, Sierra Leone is still broken, Liberia corrupt, Uganda held at the mercy of madmen. East Timor, Fiji.. so many places that are full of horror. My heart is breaking for Kenya and all these places. Please spare some time in your thoughts and prayers.
Where this unleashes, there are children who become readers and authors of war. Who obliterate one another with the violence of abuse, abandonment and tragedy. There are orphans of war, famine and disease piling up and we must take note of the voice calling out. If nothing else, cry out for our brothers and sisters and children of injustice in this earth.
Inkling
I have always wrestled with the idea of spending tens of thousands on IVF treatments for couples that can’t have children. I can completely relate to the biological desire to create life but my heart breaks for orphans – for the unloved. The words of Hosea, that name children Desolate – and then see them renamed.. I love the picture of redeeming the children of this world that have been left on the side of the road. Especially in recent months when health issues have given me scope to really address the possibility of adoption in my future, recent conversations with other Jesus-followers about the potential joy of bringing the unloved into a home of love… and then listening to the story Mike Pilavachi told of someone in his community who is moving to Africa to become mum to a tribe of orphans, eight in total. There is an inkling of this in my future, and I don’t want to lose it – a heart for the child that is unloved. To redeem something beautiful that God made in the midst of humanity, where humanity abandoned them. Yes – that would be a good way to spend my love on this earth.
by tashmcgill | Jan 7, 2008 | Uncategorized
AUCKLAND TO SYDNEY
Painless and easy. Landing to the sound of Dave Dobbyn singing “loyal”.
Sydney airport is so boring. It’s bland. Even the bookstore. How could I not find a single book that seemed worth reading? And the food options are appalling. Yuck. Miserable way to spend five hours when all I wanted to do was be travelling.
UNITED FLIGHT TO LAX
What a perfect flight apart from the lack of inseat entertainment. Those big screens are really frustrating. Lots of room, a whole row. Lots of time spent talking with Jesus and feeling my nerves come down. Had a complete freakout about 1 hour into the flight. Overwhelmed by a sense of aloneness, of missing home, of all the people I wished were with me. I wrote in my journal and gave thanks for every good and deep love I have here on this earth, the ones left at home and then the ones I was travelling too. Regained my equilibrium. Bliss. Captured all the bliss by writing loveletters home to some of my dearest old and new friends. Felt amazing landing in LA.
FLIGHT TO CHICAGO
Stratched window ruined a little bit of the view until we got closer to the big late summer storm system over the whole Midwest. The clouds were huge, dramatic and all swirling together – you could picture the time lapse. Landing the sun was setting to the west of us and so the sky was Polaroid and the clouds full of pink and golden hues. So divine.
CHICAGO O’HARE
So many things to note, but the united terminals at o-hare form a sort of golden palisade, rendered caramel, gold and coffee coloured as the sun rises and hits it from the east and sets, illuminating it from the west in the evening. It’s sharp gleam must beckon homeward bound as the smooth glass dome runs on an north – south axis. Once inside the lengthy connecting travelator is still one like a living interacting tribute to colour, the resene colour swatch wall effect with glass panels echoed in the multicoloured neon madness that sits overhead. All the marble and quietness after the hours in the air is enough to make your head spin.
PEOPLE
Charlie – Charlie the marine, stationed in California and out at sea until he got the call to come home for the birth of his second child, another daughter with his wife. She was in labour while he was waiting for the customs check, hoping that she could hang out for his frantic trip to the hospital in LA
Charlotte in Chicago, a city dweller who loved to talk about all the places to stay and what to do. Gave the River Bus hint, rather than the river boat or taxi tours. For 2 dollars a trip you get an 18 minute ride down the best parts of the river on a DIY architecture tour. Also familiar with st louis she recommends forest park and the st louis zoo as one of the best in the world – and “on the hill” for thai food.
by tashmcgill | Jan 6, 2008 | Uncategorized
Which I Think Is A Little Bit Ridiculous
Day Two of Soul Survivor.
There are elements of this place that remind me of Eastercamp a few years ago, while the Working Team were just the hands and feet of the Vision Team. There was a big chasm between the sense of spiritual leadership and practical leadership. Now, we see more and more that the leadership and drive of camp, both heart, soul, spirit and hands comes so much out of the Working Team, and it’s just our language that needs to change. There is a sense that perhaps these guys are still operating on two sides of the coin.
A challenging time to choose my words wisely – Sam said he could see the rats running in the wheel and it’s true, that the brain is working overtime but it’s really important to choose what to talk about here, what to reflect on and what to engage in dialogue over. What things simply to observe and that’s it. Still – tonight was my first real opportunity to talk to SS people – the festival managers Jon & Carol Cummings and Sam. Both the conversations were good – and I had a sense that God was present in the moments.
Reflections – there is a paradigm shift between church camp, youth festival and music festival. I’ve been observing this in the way that leadership and presentation is structured, how the programmes are structured, how the people interact with one another. Here, there is a large emphasis on leadership from the front (flow on from the emphasis on Spiritual Leadership). So in capturing a real festival atmosphere, it’s interesting to observe what I would change or shape in the flow of days and activities.
Reflections – I’m loving being camped with the Baptist Tabernacle kids. It’s awesome to have a tent full of girls at this very moment – talking about faith, life, boys, the festival and so on and so on. It’s making my heart ache to be back hands on with youth ministry. I’m loving the moments over making dinner with my windsor boys. It’s a good good thing.
Seminar – Potentially a nightmare, in a room without windows or ventilation on an overcast and humid summer day. But there was a few punters there who seemed to engage. The hour went quickly. I spoke about focusing on discovering who you are based on your strengths and how that ultimately impacts the community we live in as well as our understanding of God, ourselves and our purpose.
by tashmcgill | Jan 5, 2008 | Uncategorized
So… when is breaking the rules not breaking the rules? We’re at a christian summer festival.. where you can leave the site without permission unless you’re over 18. You’re not allowed drugs or alcohol on site.
So when one of my students left the site and went for a walk, walked into a pub and ordered a drink, then came back to the camp…. he didn’t break any of the rules.
But we all know that the spirit of the rules was broken. Uhoh. What do you do with that?
Soul Survivor In Brief
It’s such a great privilege to be at an event that I’m not responsible for anything at. It’s also a great privilege to be on the prayer team etc, and to see so many people that I know and love here.. especially to see something that is such a big part of Sam‘s world unfolding. It’s a great team of people and I’m enjoying meeting more and more of them.
It’s almost impossible for me to be at something like this and not reflect, assess, wonder and analyse. It’s so instinctive.. that I just can’t switch it off very often. Even at Passion and NYWC… I’m always thinking about ‘the stuff’.
1. It’s hot and dry during the day and the temperature drops quickly at night. It reminds me of April Easters at Finlay Park.
2. Service projects to the Fielding community including weeding gardens, cleaning windows and painting fences, mostly for those who are unable to do it for themselves. Split up into small groups of two or three and dropped off around the city. Worship for those participating? Yes… and especially beautiful for those who are organisers to drive around the city and see people at work making a difference. Making a difference for what though? Darryl’s seminar immediately following? Ironic timing.
3. The scheduling is interesting – seminars first in the morning, then a general session at 11am – which makes for a lot of people sweltering in a tent in the middle of the day. There’s little other entertainment or activity during the day apart from sessions & seminars, but the programme is chockablock across two minor venues and hang out zones after the evening session.
4. Nothing is compulsory, but if you’re not in the main sessions – there’s nothing to do.. so is it really as free as all that? Social engagement? Fun stuff?
5. I’m not sure what I was expecting in terms of demographic – Probably more young adults in the 18+ age group. But the kids here are great kids.
6. My Baptist background is starting to wrestle a little bit with the Anglican/New Wine heritage – mostly when it comes to the expectations or approach to prayer ministry, Holy Spirit spaces and expectations on manifestation. I’m thinking too much. Ugh.
7. Being a firsttimer, there’s not heaps and heaps of info to get your head around – and not necessarily a lot of connection points – it’s definitely SS doing ministry with your people – and your relationship and connection to SS plays a big part in the flavour and how that plays out. Not necessarily good or bad, just interesting to observe.
8. As a slightly older young adult (just wanted to use an oxymoron of some sort).. it’s a lonely experience when my group is so small and relatively disconnected – they’re not feeling it as much as I am, which is funny cos I’m sharing a tent with one of my dearest and oldest friends. But it’s community I long for.
So far it’s been an interesting time. I’m wrestling with real feelings of loneliness and sadness at being here with so few of my community. It’s a glorious reminder of why I love youth ministry and why I hate being alone here .. I wish that there were another 15 people here, as well as young adults. More of a community that we could journey through the issues of social justice and faith in action.
Darryl Gardiner’s seminar today on Justic in the here and now was insightful – mainly because he addressed the ministry of reconciliation that we are all called to – reconciliation to God, to others, to ourselves and to the world around us. He also addressed the difference between social justice and social concern… something that is important to consider in light of today’s service projects and the practical toolbox stuff that I’m trying to put together for Eastercamp.
Stress levels are high – there is so much to do for Easter and Parachute and it all has to happen in the next ten days.. and I’m here in a field in Fielding.
BUT… I love being in the presence of good God-loving people.
STILL — Mark, Bernie, Tim, Steve… I miss your guitar lines, Jono – I miss your keys. Definitely miss my bass boys too. Oh yeah. I love playing music and can’t wait to get into the year.
