I wrote a leadership blurb recently talking about the concept of sharing knowledge, rather than hoarding it, as a method of building and developing your leadership and influence.
It’s a really important idea and a major ideological shift from boomer-type leadership strategy to egalitarian GenY-friendly model. So, increasingly, in business, church & community leadership this method of sharing knowledge is really one of opening doors and creating opportunity for others to step into the conversation, offering something of their own to the collective whole, even if it’s just presence to the conversation, that shapes and develops their own potential. All this, is influence.
Why do I think this matters? Because historically in the last thirty years, especially in ministry circles, especially in youth ministry circles – we have struggled as a collective faith body, to make spaces and develop healthy dialogue around how and why we do what we do.
So those that have struggled to find a place have moved the conversations they long for, into other, alternate spheres. This brings both great discovery, great adventure.. and sadness. Because the conversations that develop in separate worlds, by their nature, become so easily conflicted, instead of conducive to growth, mutual understanding and broadening of our worlds. As we grow new approaches to leadership – the young and emerging push and struggle for their place. But if they simply choose to separate for the long-haul – then we all suffer. Really, this is no more than stating the obvious in a more minute example of Phyllis Tickle’s theory/observation of ‘rummage sales’.
The best teaching pastors I’ve ever had and still regard, are the ones who led me along with them to their conclusions and thoughts, because sharing the process invites healthy dialogue. Sharing the process enables the asking of questions about the journey, not simply arguing over the destination and conclusion. It teaches me and teaches the teacher. So yes, Steve, I think you are right… that sharing how we think, is an engaging and critical part of this ‘wisdom’. It makes space for doubt, questions, hope, discussion and alternate endings.
Perhaps most importantly for teenagers and young adults – by sharing the ‘how’, we intimate the presence of ‘time’ in our own thinking and learning. And Time, gives permission to breathe, to question, to doubt, to argue and wrestle with for yourself. Time… one of the most beautiful gifts to youth ministry and the thing we run in fear of passing. Time to doubt, time to get it wrong, time to be learning, instead of cataloging what we have learnt.
At the end of the day, where is this most important? Where do we know this so surely from? The desire and quest for wisdom and understanding – that unique process of learning how to engage in Learning?
The endless questions of five year olds. The aching confusion of teenagers. Share what you are learning and how you are learning and un-learning it – because it gives permission to those who long to do the same.
Share wisdom, share your Learning stories – don’t settle for sharing Answers, which ultimately, may not be the answer you need to offer at all.
If you mistakenly thought this was some kind of long-awaited self-help book* for youthworkers (hey, now there is an idea for the YS bookshelves!), you would be off by a mile. But, it is in fact, a very helpful self-help book for your youth ministry and your youth staff/volunteer relationships, especially and particularly with senior church staff and leadership.
I am really grateful for Mark’s insights, reality checks and helpful approach to building honest, truthful, supportive and encouraging relationships between senior pastors and youth workers because he tackles tough issues, very real issues, in a precise and unrelenting way. Through it all, he maintains a warmth and genuine tone, where you get the sense, this guy is on your side. In fact, regardless of whether you’re a senior pastor, sole pastor, volunteer or youth pastor.. you get the feeling he’s on your side. Chapters, Highlights, Sidenotes…You’ll Notice..
Endorsements.. There are a pile of them. And from good quality people, who come from a wide range of places and perspectives. Most praise both Mark the person and the work. Which is always a good sign. There are so many endorsements that actually – you ought to read them for their own sake.
Short Chapters.. Busy people will be reading this book, but while these short chapters are easy to read – they require thoughtful response and ask brilliant questions. My overall sense was that there are no words wasted. Stories are well placed but not overdone.
He Gets It.. Mark legitimately does get inside the mind of youthworkers from all walks and variance of experience, in addition to really understanding the driving motivations behind a lot of church youth ministry stories. He does a good job of identifying not just the wrestles of youthworkers and youth ministry, but the ongoing demands placed on senior leadership in the broader scope of church to deliver on certain expectations. And he unpacks the internal motivations of us all as leaders. *Reading this book in fact, was a little bit of a personal healthcheck.
Great Centerfold Diagrams.. This book isn’t just about seeking the Spirit and relying on discernment, feelygood feelings. No, there’s actual HR theory, relational theory and communication theory woven right through the core. Reading this book, even just the centerfold, will make you a better parent, friend, boss, employee and romantic love interest.
Discussion Questions.. From the outset, Mark addresses that you may be reading this book in order to put something in place, to instigate change, or healthy process, to invigorate and build trust with your staff team. So he gives you great, cut to core discussion questions to use, and guides you through the process of implementation and building relationship. This is like a pastoral book that wants to give you really helpful tools.
Process, Practicalities and Positioning Statements.. Mark really clearly addresses the process of deciding why, how, who, what and when that a church goes through in appointing staff, no holds barred, healthy and unhealthy, from every angle. Gives you a look to think about to fit your own circumstances into the spectrum. You’ll feel good and bad. That’s ok. He then speaks practically about basic things to get right and to avoid in the interview and employment process for both sides!! Yes, two ticks. Then he also makes some brave and brief positioning statements about practical choices.. especially in regards to ..
Catalytic Leadership (pg.78) – Most churches want the fruit of catalytic leadership, that looks to them like engaged and passionate young people ought to look, but rarely are they prepared or wanting the chaos and turmoil that a Catalytic Leader brings.
Ideal Youth Pastor Age (pg.81) – Mark puts forward a brief but well constructed, legitimate argument for maturity in youth pastors.
Healthy Churches .. – There is a clear picture of what a healthy church is/isn’t, does/doesn’t. Including the approach of self-revelation it takes in the interview and employment process.
Issues.. Ministry envy and comparison, performance anxiety, communication meltdowns.
My Own Particular Standouts And Notes
1. Characteristics of youth pastor expectations, what’s expected of them and what they expect of the job.
2. Connection between the overspiritualization and emotional connectedness that develops in the interview process.
3. The packaging doesn’t always match the product (ie: how to sell yourself article above!)
4. The Blame Game – performance anxiety and deference, role of responsibility in every aspect of leadership, including church’s responsibility.
5. This book offers invaluable insight into overall church behaviour patterns.
6. The influence of theology on staffing can take you by surprise. Reminds me of the “budget reflects the values of the church” talk I heard Brian Winslade give.
7. The importance and place of unexpressed vision in volunteers.
8. Churches do have strong values that form the organizational ideas around youth ministry, even if it’s not formally expressed in ‘vision’.
9. EXPERTISE – often churches want the approval/rhetoric of a Youth Ministry expert but only to affirm their existing plan of action.
10. Catalytic Leadership – the classic case of be careful what you wish for.
11. Ladder of Inference – often the product of relational neglect, the consequences of Isolation (relationally neutral), Alienation (relationally negative) and Condemnation (the end is near).
12. Young People – what about young people in the process? Chp 17 – 20, look at the relationship with young people.
Conclusion The next book called the “un-Official Church Staff Manual” is going to be an excellent companion piece, because consistently “Inside the Mind” will lead you think… man, this book is really for the whole church. Not just Youth Ministry.
I’m a naughty blogger these days – promising updates and failing to deliver, but this time I blame sickness.. so there are some of my thoughts reflections on the previous notes, just a couple of thoughts that stuck out, I’m holding them here.
Globalization – we’ve been driven by a global economic market.*
Interesting though, that while the global economy has led and driven western society to the this point, it seems there is a subliminal shift and seeking of what the drivers of society ought to be, certainly with a movement away from placing fiscal responsibility in the hands of a confidence-based market for profit. So – my pitch is that money people will have to become wiser and slower, especially as the southern hemisphere responds to the northern hemisphere “rescue packages”. Students becoming more engaged will start to use their knowledge of international economics and policy in financial planning, decision-making and eventually this will lead to a new brand of politics and government as Boomers move on.
Graduate Work Experience – Work has become a means to an end throughout student career, paid employment is to support the ‘important stuff’. Exposes the dualism present, most do not operate in a culture where work is connected to purpose.**
Starts with the allowance for chores model. Work = money = lifestyle & experience. The more redundant our education systems become with knowledge for knowledge’s sake, the more dependent people become on entertainment rather than enlightenment. Most ‘purpose’ jobs are even then, ongoing self-actualisation tasks. Working for credit, achievement, fame, glory. Offer work experiences that are fulfilling and worthwhile, the purpose/entertainment factor starts to balance out – especially taking into consideration already successful models. Consider most ‘church/faith’ programmes or community practices and what the balance is between ‘work/study/obligation’ in order to gain ‘experience/community/intimacy/relationship’. Small groups, bible study, service projects.. yet service projects are one of the fastest growing models for young adult ministry. Why? Will it be successful longterm?
Cultural Complexity – I am my own brand*** Cultural Complexity – multi ethnic diversity on campus and expanding in the wider populus**** The mosaic world we live is creates enormous questions over identity.*****
I will hopefully post more on this BUT – This area of multi-cultural multi-generationalism is absolutely fascinating to me, especially because NZ is a hotbed of continual new immigration, from Asia Pacific, South Africa, Africa and further afield. These ongoing cycles do pose interesting possibilities.
I’ve thought for a long time, that the pick’n’mix approach many students carry into their university/graduate faith is not that bad. Sure, we get frustrated with the ‘lack of commitment’ but actually this kind of ‘pick your adventure path’ attitude to defining your own identity within multicultural environments, does apply to those who select elements to build their own faith practices. (Understand I’m speaking strictly about faith practices, not beliefs.) Thus, the fabric of their spiritual community is defined by the pieces and threads they tie together.
Using the “Believe/Behave/Belong” model in unison rather than focusing on one element is a big challenge but important.******
Ok, so I just got confused here, and I’m looking for someone to correct me. I’ve only ever been exposed or conversed around the 3B’s as a way of viewing, observing the values shifting between generations. I guess the natural response of that, is to then based ministry approaches on those most present felt-needs. But I don’t think that how it was applied here was necessarily right? Essentially I think I am still more of a Youth Ministry 3.0 girl – affinity does take priority over the others.
Other Reflections As with so many things, it’s nearly impossible to stay completely current, I’m constantly updating my own research and observations. Also, I think we also have to shift our thinking when it comes to the boundaries and definitions around youth ministry/tertiary ministry etc.
The reality is, while youth culture continues to grow in it’s domination of the 11 – 38 year old segement, the niche youth sectors become more specific.
For example, the difference in interests, fashion, music, technology, work/study balance.. these used to be points of great difference where mass groups moved in unison between these lifestages. Like when every kid from Sunday School turned 5 and started school in the same year – 12months and everyone was on the same page again.
However, think about: Those retraining, returning to post-grad study Those shifting jobs and career paths every 3-5 years Those embracing marriage/children/defacto relationships/divorcing Travelling overseas / living overseas Buying and selling property & setting up house (Living away from the family home) Those in vocational training rather than tertiary training Those part-time working / part-time studying or parenting or creating Who own and drive vehicles Who use drugs/alcohol recreationally or habitually
Each of these aspects or areas of life could apply to anyone 15 – 40 years, because many of those critical choices being made in the tween and teen years, are now being revisited in the early adult years – but the culture remains largely the same, influenced by dominant youth culture trends. The number of 15+ having children, living independently, leaving school earlier than previously is continuing to rise.
So, if you go to trying to identify key tasks of youth ministry, I think it gets pretty easy to see, that most of it still applies to that ‘young adult’ sector. Sometimes, especially more so, as some adolescent experiences are intensified or only present in the latter stages of adolescence (smack bang in the middle of 18 – 24 years sector).
A week or so ago, I managed to squeeze in an early morning session at Massey University, with TSCF (Tertiary Students Christian Fellowship) led by Nigel Pollock, National Director, (personal blog).
It was a session for those working with 18 – 24 year olds in campus or local church environments. Nigel’s passion for faith engaging culture is evident, the thrust of his presentation being around identifying cultural/global trends and identifying the following issues for students and challenges for student ministry.
I’ve taken a bunch of notes (incomplete – as I had to leave about 5 mins before the end) but you get the idea. I agreed with a number of his points, wasn’t convinced on others and really appreciated the snapshot opportunity provided by having such a variety of ethnic, on & off-campus ministers and chaplains together.
Interact please, I’m interested to see what response you have to this stuff – especially considering the ease of being able to fall into cliche responses. I’ll post my thoughts next. We are in a significant time of change in western culture – connection between the world more obvious – a time of generational watershed as babyboomers come to the end of their responsibilities. – British Army slogan has changed over the last century from “Your Country Needs You!” to “You Need The British Army”. – Self-fulfillment has become more important than service – Even ministry roles is self-actualisation to one extent – the idea of ministry being to glorify God is secondary to the utilitarian value of ministry (what fits my gifts and passions).
ISSUES AFFECTING STUDENTS 18 – 24 years.
1. Globalization – we’ve been driven by a global economic market.* For the first time, this economic drive is being questioned in light of current situation.
EFFECT Student Choices for Education – philosophy/histories (Ed. – General Humanities) courses are in decline as students are encouraged to study for job choice, however this isn’t actually making them better off. Educated workforce for the sake of education doesn’t benefit, the goal of tertiary education has always been learning to think. Student Debt – Govt policy (NZ) is user pays education. Debt is becoming an increasing issue, creating a negative cycle with cultural expectation that education is a requirement for job placement. Also creates a consumer mentality around education systems and providers.
Student Work – Majority of campus students are working 10+ hrs per week (NZ) to support the education process (ED. Not separate to the debt cycle, debt + working = head above water). The traditional university life where students engaged with sport, culture, community is changing to reflect the time available. Student experiences change generation to generation.
Graduate Work Experience – Work has become a means to an end throughout student career, paid employment is to support the ‘important stuff’. Exposes the dualism present, most do not operate in a culture where work is connected to purpose.**
CHALLENGE building students who are more than consumers and still ‘givers’ from a debt position.
2. Cultural Complexity – changes to marriage and family templates, norms and expectations affect fabric of traditional culture and societal structures. – internet connects and resources groups differently to traditional geographic dependant strategy. – I am my own brand*** – multi ethnic diversity on campus and expanding in the wider populus****
ISSUES – Connected but not relating – Gospel unity and membership – questions of individualism and community dualism – what does multicultural mean? CHALLENGE What does indigenous mission look like? The traditional model meant foreigners would ‘train’ locals to reach locals. But in an immigrant culture, what is the most appropriate model. (ED. How does Affinity impact connection points, esp. with internet based study methods?) How much of yourself do you bring to true Multiculturalism? ie: do you wear the burka or not? What does it mean for an immigrant student to become part of a multiethnic community that creates separation from the family culture? The mosaic world we live is creates enormous questions over identity.*****
– more people groups on campus – the truth of the gospel can’t be compromised – the culture gap between the church and society grows wider – impact of global culture (driven by West Coast US) on indigenous peoples regardless – STUDENTS ARE FORMING IDENTITY BASED ON GLOBAL/NATIONAL/TRIBAL instinct when engaging at university, rather than trad. forms.(ED. – tribal being based in affinity or proximity to experience)
(NB. doesn’t seem surprising that the emergence of this affinity driven identity task would appear in 18 – 25s as a ‘final stage’ of development. Seems that the Global and tribal influence on individual culture will continue to increase rather than national/ethnic boundaries.)
3. Media – moved from being viewers, to programmers, to cyborgs – for Gen Y, mobile phones actually form part of their identity/ or identity is in tech. STUDENT ISSUE – Connectedness (need for it – but is it genuine?) – Norms society>individual>family>vacuum STUDENT ISSUE – permissiveness and despair, ie: the complexity of social ethics – Reality is changeable, the abundance of photo-retouching when image is everything, but no image is left unaltered STUDENT ISSUE – Self-image and awareness of reality, expectations on self and others
CHALLENGES – Models of ministry that use network rather than hierarchy based systems (ED. Address normative identity formation and affinity more effectively, allow more flexibility) – engaged creativity (ED. importance of contributing to the wider ‘media’) – adoptive relationships
4. Family – fragmentation of Gen X – move towards childfriendly protectionism within society and family structures STUDENT ISSUE – results in removing the opportunity and requirement of leadership and initiative from the emerging generation – complicated & extended family relationships STUDENT ISSUE – Hurt (ED. Identity plays a part here too.)
CHALLENGES – Using the “Believe/Behave/Belong” model in unison rather than focusing on one element is a big challenge but important.****** Preparing future parents is also key. 5. IDEAS & VALUES – debate on nature – God vs. Science was the defining argument of the 19th century but the question has shifted – what does it mean to be human? Humanity – what makes us special. Decline in the humanities means that there are even fewer Christian academics studying in this field, traditionally the focus has been
in science. – traditionally Academic Ideas influence Popular Ideas, which in turn influence further study & ongoing Academic Ideas. – churches historically have avoided academic pursuit and have had an anti-intellectal approach to young people, but as the age of critical choices is declining from 20’s, to teens, to tweens – people are moving backwards looking for understanding and framework.
Right – so, digest, ponder, respond. I’m going to post my thoughts tomorrow – along with a review of this book…Inside the Mind Of Youth Pastors.
History and hindsight do amazing things for our sense of place in the world. In the context of current economic strife – I wonder many things. Certainly, we have been in similar places throughout our human storybook. But in different ways, this is a new time.
I wonder that if we had not embraced the slow, and accepted a suitable pace for achieving much, then for the sake of speed, progress and efficiency – we would have lost much less and learned better habits for our humanity along the way.
We have a collection of old National Geographic magazines in the office. The new editions arrive every month – but I love the storytelling of old, stories that took months to collect, photographs that had to be developed before they knew whether they’d got the shot. Before the seabeds of Chesapeake Bay were desolated with the smell of grease and smoke in the air.
As with so many things I post on this blog, I’m happy to throw a few puzzle pieces out there, and let you come up with what you will. But this essay moves me, in this time of regret and fear.
The Sailing Oystermen of Chesapeake Bay – by Luis Marden, Nat. Geographic, Dec. 1967 (excerpts)
‘Dawn-etched phantoms from a bygone era, skipjacks dredge for oysters. Until last year, Maryland law decreed that only sailing vessels might take the shellfish from deepwater beds. Bit the coming of power may toll a knell for these proud survivors of working sail – and for a way of life.’
‘”The way I figure it,” said the captain, “most men live in hope and die in despair.” He eased the wheel off two spokes. “The trouble with drudgin’ with sail, you either got it flat calm or it’s too much wind. You go to bed at night wonderin’ where the wind’s gonna be, and you don’t know where you gonna make your day’s work. “Days like this, when it’s pretty, we can’t work – ain’t neither breath in the world. When it’s blowin’ not fit for a dog to be on the water, you have to go.” Yep, there’s hardship in the oyster [he pronounced it ‘auster’] business. “But,” said Capt. Eldon Willing, squinting at the red disc of the setting sun, “me, I’m like everyone else. I live in hope. I don’t think it’s ever been so bad as I couldn’t make it.”
‘”There’s no comparison between sail and power,” he said. “Take this boat, put an engine in her, sit on a box sniffin’ that old grease and push her into the Bay; turn one way, let go, heave and wind in. The same thing, day after day, whether it’s blowin’ or calm. I wouldn’t like it. This way, standin’ at the wheel with a breeze on your face and the sails flappin’…. It’s somethin’ that gets into you, you can’t get it out of your bones overnight.
“No sir, if it comes to drudgin’ with power, I’ll go home and get on relief. For sixty years now I’ve been drove hard and put away wet, and if it comes to that I’ll just set there and do neither thing in the world with the rest of ’em.” But I doubt that he would.
“Ever’ year there’s one or two taken up the creek to die,” lament watermen of proud old craft such as this skipjack [pictured] abandoned in Man Gut, a Dal Island backwater. Before mooring her for the last time, the owner salvaged all gear; tides and winds finish the hulk off. She epitomizes the fate awaiting the Nation’s last commercial sailing fleet.”
Photograph by Luis Marden.
On Distance – Je t’aime
“Dubious questioning is a much better evidence than that senseless deadness which most take for believing. People that know nothing… have no doubts. Never be afraid to doubt, if only you have the disposition to believe, and doubt in order that you may end in believing the truth.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Richard ‘Cheesy’ Cotman has been in my close circle since we were at high school. Born to fascinating parents and the perfect nuclear family, he’s intelligent, creative, a words+music fiend, who loves many of the same things I do – great stories, interesting characters, experiences, travel, places, adventure. He lives an unusual life, somewhat nomadic crossing plenty of borders.
I always was a little bit surprised at how cemented a place in my heart Cheesy has – and he’ll read this, so I can be both gushy and silly, overly sentimental in my memory – because I am a girl, and allowed. I admired him, a year above us at the boy’s grammar school up the road, us music students who played together and found ourselves as part of each other’s lives.
The first time Cheesy went to overseas to live seems so long ago now. In those days, there were letters with tickets, lolly wrappers and photographs actually printed on paper(!). I still have them all collected in a box. In that time, one occupies a space in the mind and heart.
On his return – our time & space in the corporeal so easily becomes more trivial, less precious.
On the next trip – a longer stint to Oxford, the advent of the blog had done much for closing the distance, but they were still letters of a sort. There was still an inevitable wait, space, breath between the event and the reporting. Many personal emails gave way mostly, to blogging…
Now, in Montpelier, speaking, thinking and even writing in French (je t’aime!), the distance is closing – thanks to Twitter. Montepelier time means that I am closing my eyes to sleep, somewhere around the beginning of his day and I am waking to some aspects of daily life. And while this moment by moment existence loses some of it’s intimacy .. it closes the distance. And I appreciate that so much.. because it means that those who are most proxim do not have the chance to dominate the spaces of my heart and mind, already claimed by others.
And that is why, [as my mother asks], I tell the world what I am doing in my Twitter/Facebook status. I’m not telling the world, but the world may listen, while I tell you.
On Space – The Beauty Of Lent
Song Of The Moment : Everything is Yours by Audrey Assad and Steve Wilson
when all the world is blossoming when everything around is bursting into life and I don’t have to strain to hear the beat of Your heart oh, oh…
when all the world is under fire when the skies are threatening to thunder and rain and I am overcome by fears that I can’t see oh, oh…
if everything is Yours, everything is Yours if everything is Yours, I can’t let it go; it was never mine to hold.
who could command the stars to sing or hold the raging seas from breaking through the doors and tend the fragile roses with the very same hands? oh, oh…
I can’t let it go–I can’t let it go Cause everything is Yours, everything is Yours.
You can’t take Lent away from Easter. Previous years, the countdown to that precious celebration has been my Lent. 40 days of disciplines, prayers and preparation in every aspect of my being. But, when the Passion of Easter is no longer mine, I must t
hen, reframe Lent.
pas·sion n. 1. A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger. 2. a. Ardent love. b. Strong sexual desire; lust. c. The object of such love or desire. 3. a. Boundless enthusiasm: b. The object of such enthusiasm: 4. An abandoned display of emotion, especially of anger: 5. Passion a. The sufferings of Jesus in the period following the Last Supper & Crucifixion. b. A narrative, musical setting, or pictorial representation of Jesus’s sufferings. 6. Archaic Martyrdom.
So, this year, I choose to not fast, but to discipline. For each day of Lent, I am meditating on a single psalm (1 – 40), writing them by hand in a journal, drawing, commenting, letting ideas springboard.. noticing, observing. Then on Sundays, I feast and compile all those thoughts/ideas/cross references onto their own page.
This practice of reflection, noticing but then holding on to my conclusions has been a wonderful slowing of my devotions. It’s creating Space for truth to coagulate, unfold, take root.
However – halfway through my psalms and I cannot help but say.. how much is the presence of God for all people, found in the love and servitude of the poor. To love and love well, with grace and mercy is to worship.
As I read these psalms, reflecting on my own hands as I write (a slipping artform..) words, ancient and uttered on the page.. I find that I have been writing and singing psalms for a long time. For when you dive into these songs, you find again, the echo of the human voice so strong, you cannot help but come face to face with your creator and creation all at once.
Never Mine To Hold – The Wonderment That Comes From Time+Space+Distance I said at the time of the Easter chapter closing, that the task was never mine to hold, that it was always held in God’s hands and he simply allowed my hands to slip inside his for a time.. I find that still to be true as I pray and encourage those who are attending/serving/working on Eastercamp this year. So thank you, Audrey Assad. Can I encourage you to click play.. and soak.
Tash McGill is a broadcaster, writer and strategist who works with people and organisations to solve problems and create transformation. She believes people are the most important thing and that stories are powerful ways of changing the world. You can find out more at tashmcgill.com or by visiting her LinkedIn profile.
