I’m at home on one of those nights where I wish it would rain so I could hear it on my tin roof and let it soothe me a little. I’m devouring media – both listening to iTunes (currently playing You Are My Sanity by Tim Reynolds, from the recording Live at Radio City)… I’m also watching TV in silence, flicking between news reports, the Sunday movie and generic dramas. I’m intermittently catching up on blogs, facebooking and youtubing all at once.

Here’s my list of contemplations.. none of which I have processed any great thoughts on yet, just stuff i’m thinking about…

List (In No Particular Order)
Can two people really have one heart split between two bodies?
(inspired by Dave Matthews track ‘Sister’ and the Buddhist saying that a true friend is one soul in two bodies).

“sister when you cry i feel your tears running down my face, sister sister you keep me”
“i hope you always know it’s true i would never make it through cos you could make the sun go dark just by walking away”
“i feel you beating in my chest”

The beauty of a friend who is far away and a love that leaps over years to unite one who is old with one who is young, and how I am the younger and the older in more of these friendships that i should deserve… i am blessed and cursed by my age, for i love more and less than i ought so many that i have… dearest.

i am an old woman
as old as the sea, battering the coast into submission
her shattering shoreline falling into soft, buttery pieces
foamy and chaotic

i am an old woman
as long and wrung out as old cotton
in danger of yellowing and wrinkling in the light
stiff and harsh

i am an old woman
laughter and frowning written in the same lines
my face framed by unruliness i no longer care to tame
wild and ruthless

i am an old woman
my youth vanished from my womb and skin and eyes
mirth replaced with wisdom of children that never arrived
lost in transition

i am an old woman
standing still with the shock of it realising
i have arrived at the moment of farewelling life for what it never was
bed empty, full heart

i am an old woman
who loved with the heat of one thousand suns
loved and loved and loved without pretense and knew your every heart
beating and whole

i am an old woman
who grew so waiting on you
who i so loved when i was young

Reconciliation – the ministry of the deep heart, where one must fully accept and be accepted into whole relationship with another.

Morrie Schwartz – A Teacher To The Last, a lesson in the value of social psychology and sociological practice.

“The little things, I can obey. But the big things – how we think, what we value – those you must choose yourself. You can’t let anyone – or any society – determine those for you.”

“Learn how to live, and you’ll know how to die; learn how to die, and you’ll learn how to live.”

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”