I come down a lot I turn on the lights Making promises of peace tonight I shut the door Quick I tell my lies Before I bend my knees Oh I refuse to give or take an inch And I won’t bend or break Oh I come down a lot
I shut the door to keep you out I lean myself against this wall Do anything to keep the weight of the world From falling down, from falling down Around me
I am terrified of falling I feel myself burning I am buried with confession I can’t get the words out And I’ll fall apart if it all comes down And I am scared to be broken But you can take the fear apart And you can break me
I am swallowed up by pride I live inside myself Telling lies and it’s so cold I won’t bend or break I won’t give or take an inch
And all these promises I break They take my strength I am slowly dying I die a little every day Oh I come down a lot
I am terrified of falling I feel myself burning I am buried with confession I can’t get the words out And I’ll fall apart if it all comes down And I am scared to be broken But you can take the fear apart And you can break me
Rock’N’Roll Every so often the bones under my skin ache and long for the throbbing beats of a super-jacked PA with rooomshaking bass tones and screechy mids. Saturday night we traipsed into the Auckland Town Hall and shattered our eardrums with soaring decibel readers for some twenty year old, vintage rock’n’roll with kiwi troopers Shihad.
Dinner first though – at the ever delightful Mezze bar, where the Spanish aromas of tapas, coffee and cocktails warm the senses almost as much as the bronze hues and retro lights. The night outside was just damp enough and cool enough to make the Mezze on durham seem almost tropical… The lamb was so good, the chicken spicy and nutty.. and my favourite discovery of the night was a normandy apple cocktail – whisky, caramelised apple liqueur and some other secret ingredient that remains secret because I can’t remember it right now!
Heard New entry of the night was Luger Boa – with reformed D4 frontman Jimmy Christmas. I suspect more trading on their lineup than the repertoire, they were still a solid rock show.
The Mint Chicks launched their collection of new songs to the delight of the crowd. For the old songs click here. Hardly ones to put on an outta control stage show – the now three piece did create epic wall of sound moments that against the backdrop of the organ at the Town Hall were still visually stunning.
Shihad managed to rock through a collection of tunes from just about every album – including the crowdpleaser “one will heal the other” from the new offering “Beautiful Machine”. I haven’t been an album listener really – since The General Electric way back in the day. Some of the more obscure tunes from Love is the New Hate intrigued me, but this album is a fresh sound that just gets under your skin a little bit.
Talking I just like talking to you, even when it’s late at night and we’re really tired… I like the refreshing honesty and the ability to laugh about things that everyone else we know takes soooooo seriously… thanks.
Happy Marko Day Tuesday was Happy Marko Day. A convenient and roundabout trip to World Youth Day meant we had seven great hours (minus luggage hassles and the 5 minutes spent talking to the NZ Herald reporter) to hang out and drink latte bowls. We went to circus circus for lunch and coffee, hung out at the office and then prevailed upon Soul for dinner, where the view was watery, the wine was a smooth chardonnay from Matariki, the duck & dory were delightful and the desserts divine. Good food, good friends and an amazing stroke of luck that we get to be friends even from halfway around the world.
It was good for my soul to reconnect and remember all that is yet to be in the journey of life.
my author writes to me like a brother a deep true friend his words like ink and truth in a tattoo surround my mysteries and hold them up to light eerie like examination photographs in uv light longing that feels like a blanket of warmth and my heart full i’ve been on a long road home from indiana leaving behind the synergy and chemistry of a man with machinery and cigarette smoke and silent words that brings a wordsmith out to life in a welding arc smoke heat heart spark he knows my longing for main st nashville and barbeque late night blues clubs on the mississippi gruhns guitars and like all cities i love in the south the mississippi runs through them my hunting fishing smoking travelling river through the deep slow South at the side of a calloused man gold leaves and falling stars in wide ocean skies a bluesmaster deville ’68 and all in silence, with the author.
Sheryl Crow is my voice and songwriting hero of the moment. Only because she’s a girl, she’s gutsy, her voice sounds like hell and heaven all at once. She’s a more refined Joplin and a sassy rock Dixie Chick.
Song Of The Moment : A Mirror Is Harder to Hold by Jon Foreman
You could stay a while longer We could stay up and talk about last summer We could go down to the water, watch the sunset goin’ under Its not that I’m a stranger to lonely moments I’ve had my share of those Please don’t go please don’t leave me alone A mirror is so much harder to hold
I could try to point a finger But the glass points in my direction Sure you’ve got your sharp edges but my wounds are from my own reflection You’ve got nothing I could ever hold against you Ive got fatal flaws to call my own Please don’t go, please don’t leave me alone A mirror’s so much harder to hold
I met a man who was looking for perfection Said he’d never met a girl who was good enough His eyes are getting old like they’d love to love again Such a lonely man Such a lonely man
I see him in my reflection taking steps toward me these days So I hold you that much closer and pray we don’t throw this away It’s not that I’m a man who couldn’t love you I know what these arms are for
Please don’t go please don’t leave me alone A mirror’s so much harder to hold A mirror’s so much harder to hold Please don’t go please, don’t leave me cold A mirror’s so much harder to hold
The Satisfaction Inspired by a really off-the-mark sermon on sexual desires and temptation, I’ve been contemplated many things along the lines of gender stereotypes, church mythology, social sexuality … some of my favourite topics.
The Christian ideal of perfection (espoused on Sunday “whatever sexual mistakes you make before marriage will absolutely create a negative impact and baggage that is unavoidable in your future marriage, jeopardising your future sexual relationship”) becomes increasingly prevalent..
…. perfect sexual morality (complete lack of sexual thought & engagement prior to marriage) …. the trade-off for this sexual purity is the provision of a perfect sexual & relational harmony in marriage
They are similar myths to…
…. because you are a Christian God will provide a husband/wife who is (select as many of the following that apply to your tastes) perfect | goodlooking | sexually expressive | spiritually competent | suits your tastes completely | able to satisfy you completely
or in simpler language – Mr. Right and Princess Perfect.
But it’s our imperfections that drive us to the heart of God. It’s others imperfections that compell us to the character of Christ.
My fear is that too many of us/friends/whoever have traded in learning to love well for the certainty and assuredness of finding a love we are convinced will satisfy us.
I am heartbroken for I recognise I am less than satisfactory, ill-equipped to satisfy many. I have pretty words, a deep heart and plenty of laughs to share .. but I could never satisfy completely.. I am not the complete Love.
Perhaps I am too hard on myself. Perhaps I am too hard on others.. but I do not want to be entirely satisfied. I want always to be left a little wanting. A little space that reminds me, completion is not in the life of a Lover, but in a triangle of Lovers… unHoly and Holy pieces coming together.
oh i’m less than satisfactory but i am hidden mysteries and depths so deep you could search me for centuries and still i’d surprise you but you don’t know anything about how i could satisfy you
you’d learn to love the whiskey on my tongue and the tattooed things you’d see when i’m undone and you’d be satisfied with the food of my table and the songs of my journals, all the words i gather setting you on fire, the people i love and the God i follow, you’d love the taste of honey ‘cos nothing is what is seems, least of all, the satisfaction.
This redention of “So Right” from the Folsom Field show is one of my favourites full stop. And seeing as I’ve been travelling this week, there has been a lot of Dave Matthews on my mind.
Tash McGill is a broadcaster, writer and strategist who works with people and organisations to solve problems and create transformation. She believes people are the most important thing and that stories are powerful ways of changing the world. You can find out more at tashmcgill.com or by visiting her LinkedIn profile.
