Who Am I, Who Are We?

by | Mar 5, 2008 | Uncategorized, youth ministry

I had the opportunity in the weekend just been to escape from preparations and speak to a group of young people at their annual church camp.

I had a group of 20 high schoolers, ranging from 13 – 17, mostly female to entertain for approx 4.5 hours over the weekend. I didn’t really know much about the group, just their ages really. Most were Christian of a sort, with a few from non-Christian homes. It was a weekend to get to know a group.

UNIQUELY YOU – The first session.
I gave each person two pieces of card and a coloured marker while we were sitting in a circle. I asked them to partner with the person next to them and trace one another’s hands onto the card, one for the left and one for the right. We reflected on what the hands looked like.

Then I asked them to take whichever hand was their “doing” hand, and on the hand write or draw words and symbols for all the things that they are uniquely good at, passionate about, like doing. Natural talents and hobbies.. everything that they can do.

Onto the other hand (usually left), I asked them to put all the things in life that they value – the Values they live by and for. Many drew rings to symbolise marriage and family on a ring finger. Talked about family, friends, hope.

Then in the group, we went around the circle and gave a few moments to each person, for the group to say positive things that they thought, felt or knew. The person had to write down what the group said about them on their “values” hand.

We then talked about Psalm 139, and being utterly unique in our DNA for skills and passions. We placed all the hands in a circle and could see plainly, how different each person was. Those that had similar skills had vastly different passions and values. Each person was unique.

I spoke about how serving God and loving God is also about coming to know yourself how God has made you to be. Talked about common sense, and living by your true self, living in the creation that God made you to be, rather than in other people’s expectations. We talked about how we could be those people, live those radically well-chosen lives, pointing out that the end decisions might be the same but the process and purpose is different.

Talked about living in such a way that maximises that talents we have been given, in line with our values – or choosing the also-valid, middle ground.

UNIQUELY US – The second session.
We returned the next day and began with another piece of card. Briefly reviewing the last session, we started by asking each student to write down one positive characteristic of the youth group in the centre of the card, largely. Then we went around the circle again, and each person shared the word that they chose and why. Each person wrote these words around their centre word until the whole card was filled.

I then read from 1 Corinthians 12, about the body. How the uniqueness of our individual hands, also makes up a unique blueprint for our community, but that we can exercise choice. We can choice how to interact and serve one another as community. Talked specifically about how saying that you’re not part of the body, actually doesn’t make you any less an ear or an eye.

We then talked about the important of needing Grace and to hear Forgiveness in order to be all you are, to be fully accepted as yourself (session #1). I read James 5:13-17. Talked about the power of forgiving one another all the time, practising Grace constantly, and creating safe places to share the fullness of life with each other (joy, sorrow, sickness, sin).

I then asked the group to close their eyes, and put their hand up if they would feel safe sharing their deepest, darkest stuff in this group. I reminded them of all the positive and wonderful things they had said, but gave them the opportunity to be honest in their response. 3 out of 20 responded affirmatively. One of those was the youth pastor.

So, in revealing that to the group, the atmosphere changed. We talked about the difference between wanting to be a community like that, and actually being one. I then split the group into pairs again, but this time they had to work with someone they didn’t know. They had to answer two questions..

1. what would our group look like and be like if we were a safe place to share and practicing grace and forgiveness?
2. what are some of the ways that we can go about practising grace in our community?

The discussion went on and on, until I asked the pairs to return to the circle and report back. Here’s what they came up with..

– nearly every pair reported that the group would be less cliche-y and more welcoming
– a number said that the group would be friendlier
– one pair said, “I think that we’d get bigger, we’d be a bigger group”
– they reported they would feel safer with each other, more secure, more belonging
– they thought they would have more compassion for others, would do more service
– they thought they would be able to genuinely help each other more

And how
– spend more time talking to each other
– tell each other what’s good about each other more often
– intentionally try to talk to everyone not just our friends in youth group, try and make sure everyone is included in the friendships
– spend more time together hanging out and just listening.

Closing:
We went back to the individual hands, and went back around the circle, this time asking the students to look at one another again, and see the unique and individual role that they had in helping to make that sort of change in the group. This is where I had to work hardest – to bring my observations of individual students as well as the peer responses together to make a constructive word for each.

However, it was amazing how the group responded. Comments about particular students being funny or always making others laugh, became recognised as encouragement gifts that are needed. We identified thermometers in the group, the kids who can always tell the atmosphere when it needs a shot in the arm. We recognised problemsolvers, and the observant ones that notice the kids left out and figure out how to connect to them. The students themselves picked out the leaders amongst them, and the impact it could have on their schools. The closer we got to the end of the circle, the more the students could identify and think about how each person’s unique DNA could really impact the journey of the group.

Lunch:
We finished and I prayed, then the group travelled to lunch. It was good good times to see, instead of 4 tables of young people sitting all over the dining hall, ONE group of twenty students from 13 – 17, pulling tables together and making a point of sitting with someone new next to them… without any prompting other than laying out the ideas and opening windows to see the world differently. It was a good day.

It made me feel HopeFULL.
Bring on 15 sleeps.

Mess and Other Life Defining Opportunities.

by | Mar 4, 2008 | god ideas, Uncategorized

So people + people = mess. Doesn’t matter if you’re the messy one or they are, sooner or later things are gonna get messy. Might be you splattering your mess onto other folk, or them other folk getting all messy on you. Sometimes, you just be walking down the street and you end up right in the middle of some sticky mess that you don’t know where the who or how it came from. Sure thing is, life is messy and people are gonna guarantee you that.

Seems to be that how you deal with the messiness, regardless of where it came from and especially being your own, is what can sum you up as a person. You can be virtuous as all of heaven, but if you ain’t wise in the sticky times, ain’t no one gonna put much stake in your virtue. Sometimes heroic is just plain ol’sticky covered in dirt, helping someone else wade through the muck, or being brave enough to keep on going when you’re up the eyeballs in your own shinouzen.

End of days, I’ll just be satisfied to hear two things. The Good Lord saying “you did okay by me, little one” and some brother or sister on this earth left behind to say whenever they were in the middle of stickiness they found me right alongside with’em, and that I managed to keep a clear head whenever I was myself stuck in the mess of it.

Between Thieves.

by | Feb 28, 2008 | eastercamp, god ideas, Uncategorized

There is a moment of the cross that sticks so wholeheartedly in my soul that I often return to it. Actually there are several, and this year, a long time in the waiting – we are visiting these moments of the cross several times at Eastercamp.

Tonight, feeling battered and bruised, I’m retreating home and creeping online momentarily to stop writing programme and ideas, and just to write ME for a little bit. I drank and dined with one of the Top Five tonight, like a smooth balm to the soul but a mix of mirth and myrrh.

“You’re so angry,” he said. I have nothing else to say to that. I do feel frustrated and angry about so many things that are small and trivial right now. I have so many dreams outside of my life. If only I had another 40 hours in the week to simply let thoughts unfold. Space for my brain is what’s required. There are too many things in my brain getting cramped.

So, lil’angry me is piling in on top of weary, soul hungry, touch-desperate me. And I’m going back to one of my favourite moments, when Christ looked into the eyes of a criminal, and offered him the solace that the Son of Man couldn’t take for himself.

I think that’s what I feel right now – the pain of giving what I do not have; peace, love and joy.

Hold on little one, hold on.

100 Points On The Girl Scale.

by | Feb 21, 2008 | Uncategorized

Today I’m wearing a matching underwear set. I think this is actually a first in my life. It happened by accident cos I got dressed in the dark, but still, Mum would be proud. 100 points on the girl scale to me. Now, if I can just manage that hair and makeup thing…

Family : Village : Tribe

by | Feb 21, 2008 | eastercamp, Uncategorized, youth ministry

Around the world we cluster ourselves into various operating strata of community – small, medium and large. It’s one of the guiding principles of what makes Eastercamp work so well for youth communities of any size.

It’s a principle called Family : Village : Tribe based on the premise that civilisation (or insert suitable adjective) naturally organised itself into groups of 5-6 units, that are part of a slightly larger group of 20 – 25 units, which is part of a much larger collective of 150 units.

Example : Many cultures around the world organise their armies in formations as so.

Squad : 5 – 6 troops : Family : Small group or homegroup : Band
Platoon : 20 – 25 troops is the ultimate : Village : Youth group : Labelmates
Company : 150 troops : Tribe : Youth Community : Genre

Interesting reflections for business models, in regards to how we connect with other compatible businesses within the creative industry (film companies, printers, wed designers, artists, copywriters), and then within the broader context of our specialised sector.

Interesting reflections for youthworkers.

Who’s your family?
The 5 – 6 youth leaders on your team. You work together, you rely on each other. You connect relationally, emotionally, spiritually to the same centre hearth, the same values and beliefs. You’re regularly together through stronger bonds than friendship. There’s trust, security, accountability, support, respect and reliance with one another.
or
The 5 – 6 local youth workers that you connect with on a regular basis, supporting one another and working together. There’s a sense of trust, security, accountability, support, respect and reliance with one another. You’re connecting with the same kids, the same places on a regular basis. You rely on one another. You bicker and squabble but always make up.

Do you regularly sit around the dining table with your family? This is a great practice to get into. How do you welcome new members of the family? Are there family rituals that you initiate? Family culture of how it is in your neighbourhood?

Who’s your village?
The 20 – 25 youth workers in your town, the school counsellors, teachers and support staff. A range of denominations and values, different priorities and skills. Still, there’s a dependance on each other for connection and awareness. Things that are difficult with 5 – 6 are much more achievable with 20 – 25.

Do you recognise your village as a co-operative that must work together in order to survive? What do you have to offer your village, what does it have to offer you? Are there compatible and contrasting ministries that require ‘trade’ and communal benefit? Do you know what to do when someone new moves into the neighbourhood?

Who’s your tribe?
The 150 or so youth workers that make up your regional or national “team”. The collective that is shaping the future leadership and direction of your denomination. The big picture thinkers that are devising strategy for the overall movement/goals.

What does it mean to you to be part of your tribe? What are your defining characteristics?

Bigger Questions
What role do you and/or your ministry play in your family, your village and your tribe?

What is your unique contribution in each of those places?
Are you connected strongly in each of those areas? Which area needs work?
What aspect of your full community life is functioning best – big picture or up close? Does up close need to change in order to reflect the dream of big picture or vice versa?