by tashmcgill | Apr 21, 2008 | god ideas, Uncategorized
Supplied by Eugene Peterson
“All the persons of faith I know are sinners, doubters, uneven performers. We are secure not because we are sure of ourselves but because we trust that God is sure of us.”
This one true thing I can say of my life : that in it’s entirety, my life will always be a collection of great mistakes, small mercies, faithful dream-chasing and great comebacks.
In times of sorrow and confusion, I often return to the deep favourites.
Mike Yaconelli is my companion through this current journey, not because he comforts my grief, although his words are full of compassion – but because he reassures me of a Grace that is radical, beyond boundaries and refuses to make me the broken, the poor & the hurting. Regardless of my sorrows and struggles – I am not the least, I am still the rich young ruler, I am still the servant with talents. I am not the least or the last and so whatever processing I want to do in this place – I refuse to allow my suffering to be over-exaggerated in the light of present and true suffering in this world.
Also, Yaconelli’s words have proof about them. A life of messiness lived out loud and lived well, so that he gave freedom out of his own self, also messy, to others.
Four Nonprinciples of Spiritual Growth
1. Spiritual Growth Encompasses a Lifetime of Decisions
Nothing is over yet – in other words, growth doesn’t stop unless you stop choosing it. Sometimes your choices lead you forward, sideways, backwards.. all over. Deep, rich, textured layers.
2. Spiritual Growth Looks Different for Each of Us
I have my own pathway. So nothing is necessarily what it appears and the journey to the destination is just as likely to be as unique and personal as the final destination is. All of it is likely to take some if not all, by surprise.
3. Give God 60% (Or Give God 100% of Whatever % You Currently Have)
I’m not shaken in my faith, or questioning God in any of the current circumstances. I’m certainly wrestling with questions but not of Him. So today, maybe I only have a little bit to give, but I can give all of my little piece. I’m a widow with two coins.
4. Reluctant Growth Is Still Growth
Growth isn’t made up of spiritual star charts or memory verses. No matter how many Scriptures you can quote or how invested in your understanding of the Talmud you are – growth is where God is crafting you, not solely the application of spiritual disciplines.
Time And Silence
Time and silence have this thing they do together. They make a chasm that has no bottom to it. And there you are, standing right on the edge of it. Aware that any moment you may be falling and falling and falling, with no hope of recovery.
by tashmcgill | Mar 14, 2008 | Strategy
I wandered in the desert for a long time. I wondered where I had come from. What was my reason? Why was I here? Am I just biology? If I am, does anything I choose to do matter? Really matter? After all, if I am accidental, then things just are what they are, and will be what they’ll be.
And why would I want to change any of that? Especially if I am only a spark of biology without destiny or design.
Accidental. This is the desert I lived in for a long time, believing that there was no reason. This was a desert without hope, because everything was fleeting and meaningless. There was nothing I knew of that had meaning beyond dust, dirt and biology.
But there are desert flowers that exist. They birth and grow in a land with endless sun, wind and little water. And a flower like that can’t happen by accident. You have to concieve of it, design a flower that can live in a desert… because one is a paradox to the other.
Design. The formation of ideas. The design of what is necessary to ensure survival. Design implies intent. Intent denotes reason, reason proves purpose.
I am a designer. I see problems as opportunities and to see what could be, to make what can be. I am a designer of life and human experience. Of my experience, despite the variables and constraints of the spaces I design within.
So perhaps my life is not accidental after all, just a desert flower. I was built for dry, stormy places. I am making ways for new streams of water in the desert. I am searching for signs of life that look differently from how I expected.
Blooming. Searching. Alive with intention.
by tashmcgill | Mar 5, 2008 | god ideas, Uncategorized
Or Skin Frequencies
Isn’t it incredible that when God let music fall from heaven, He reserved one set of melodies and harmonies for instruments of skin? We are touch-sensitive creatures.. areas of skin that are sacred, that are public, that are neutral. Touch corresponds to dozens of hidden messages wrapped up in scent, sight, touch, smell… and these sensations are like an orchestra pit in the belly or the womb. There is a sacred song playing somewhere when I connect with human music.
The right touch does wonders in a touch-starved world. Sometimes there is a longing for human music when no other song seems to fit. It’s a song of Job, a song of Solomon, a song of Moses and Miriam, even of Mary. There’s an endless frequency to be found in skin on skin. The embrace, the holding of the hand. The subtle invasion of body space to leave a mark or caress on the arm of another. The stolen kiss on the top of the head, the forehead or the back. (Those are some of my favourite places to say I appreciate you to the nearest and dearest – a chaste kiss on the glancing tip of a shoulder blade, an apex of strength and grace).
by tashmcgill | Mar 4, 2008 | god ideas, Uncategorized
So people + people = mess. Doesn’t matter if you’re the messy one or they are, sooner or later things are gonna get messy. Might be you splattering your mess onto other folk, or them other folk getting all messy on you. Sometimes, you just be walking down the street and you end up right in the middle of some sticky mess that you don’t know where the who or how it came from. Sure thing is, life is messy and people are gonna guarantee you that.
Seems to be that how you deal with the messiness, regardless of where it came from and especially being your own, is what can sum you up as a person. You can be virtuous as all of heaven, but if you ain’t wise in the sticky times, ain’t no one gonna put much stake in your virtue. Sometimes heroic is just plain ol’sticky covered in dirt, helping someone else wade through the muck, or being brave enough to keep on going when you’re up the eyeballs in your own shinouzen.
End of days, I’ll just be satisfied to hear two things. The Good Lord saying “you did okay by me, little one” and some brother or sister on this earth left behind to say whenever they were in the middle of stickiness they found me right alongside with’em, and that I managed to keep a clear head whenever I was myself stuck in the mess of it.
by tashmcgill | Feb 21, 2008 | Uncategorized
Today I’m wearing a matching underwear set. I think this is actually a first in my life. It happened by accident cos I got dressed in the dark, but still, Mum would be proud. 100 points on the girl scale to me. Now, if I can just manage that hair and makeup thing…
