by tashmcgill | Jun 9, 2006 | Uncategorized

We Wore The Church Bells Out
We did the best we could within the circumstance. We wrote the rules how we wanted them to be. In all the crimson sunsets and the dawns that we avoided, there was something fatalistic from the start. Wait for me, in the dusk. Wait for me, underneath those skies torn from the blue of space. Rise with me, I cannot be alone tonight. We did the best we could. We can be relieved, the bells have stopped.

We rung out the days with wheat and hops. We found barley gold and laughed a lot. All these tributes round they go around around the hill, you’ll be coming down soon.

Song Of The Moment : Last Goodbye
Jeff Buckley

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime
Burning clues into this heart of mine
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memories
Offer signs that its over… its over

by tashmcgill | May 30, 2006 | Uncategorized

I’m So Freaking Tired

I’m tired ..

of being the flexible one because I’m single and without children
of women’s events that introduce everyone by Name, Marital Status and Children
of being on the receiving end of Assumption – assuming my issues, assuming my attitude
of being less-than because I’m single and without children

We have a training weekend this weekend. All Christian grace aside – I’m so tired of being shoved out of the room I booked for the family with 9 & 11 year olds who only just organised themselves. I’m tired of the assumption that I don’t mind being flexible because they are from my church. I’m tired of the fact that because I don’t have children, I’m not allowed to comment on what’s feasible or reasonable.

I’m tired of single parents who complain about needing a break from their children, because no married parent I know gets one. I’m tired of parents who have no concept that their children are ill-mannered, spoilt, self-centred ‘christian’ children who are highly unpleasant to be around. I’m tired of parents who take advantage of the facilities of our office space and that I have to accommodate children coming in and out of the office all the time.

I’m tired of youth group programming that only raises young adults that want church to be like youth group, and a church that is unwilling to accept responsibility for a generation of ‘young’ adults who haven’t grown up because all they wanted was a babysitting service for teenagers. I’m tired of youthworkers who don’t look beyond the borders of teenagehood to see that longterm some of the effects of our programming are disastrous. I’m tired of people that see success as being what’s right in front of them, and not what happens as a result of our present day action in twenty years.

I’m tired of being gracious about things that ought not to matter.

I may be slightly grumpy today.

by tashmcgill | May 30, 2006 | Uncategorized

Getting Ready For A Young Adult Gathering

Why I Hate Cynicism
March 3rd, 2006
Cyn.ic: n. (sinic) a cynic as a person “disposed to rail or find fault” and as one who “shows a disposition to disbelieve in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions, and is wont to express this by sneers and sarcasm.” (The Oxford English Dictionary) See also.

Cynicism allows…
the incompetent to seem competent
the shallow to seem deep
the uncaring to seem compassionate
the listless to seem engaged
the ignorant to seem smart
the fool to seem wise
the unforgiving to seem compassionate
and the coward to seem brave

It is an intellectual lie, a fraud perpetrated on the good. The cynic suffocates all that its calloused presumptions touch. What’s worse, through its mockery, good is inhibited before it begins.

the seeds of righteousness are trampled under foot
the pure at heart are falsely accused in the genesis of their good deeds
the spark of creativity is snuffed out before it can flame
the song is silenced before the notes on the page are sung

“Cynicism is a buffer against commitment…and leads to despair” (JIm Wallis)

As people of faith, we must hold out hope. In order to hold it out to others we must possess it as our own. We must own it. Cynicism is an easy sell-out to the obvious difficulties that hope sees through. Cynicism is easy and sure. But faith, trust, forgiveness and hope can be hard and unpredictable. Cynicism offers to “guard” and “protect” us from the potential harm that might befall us, but what it really does is suck out hope from our souls. The very hope we need to be humane… the hope we need to live in community with one another…the hope we need to follow God… and the hope we need to become like Jesus. God calls us to be wise, but not with the wisdom that the “world” offers. The wisdom of the world, you can be sure, is fueled by cynicism.

“A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.” (Sidney J. Harris)

Cynicism is a child of unforgiveness. Certainly there are many things to be cynical toward: politics, medicine, religion, business, humanity, etc. However cynicism forbids the “new beginning” that faith in God gives to all of us. It traps us in our cycle of failure, keeping a record of wrongs, snuffing out the spark that we are called to fan into flame.

“What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.” (Oscar Wilde)

by tashmcgill | May 28, 2006 | Uncategorized

Business As Usual
Business plans are storming ahead – a number of exciting jobs on the horizon and a number of other projects that I’m looking forward to pitching for. The balance in writing proposals is establishing how much information to give the client to begin with. And how much to reserve in the tank. We move into our office on the 11 June.

Apart from that .. how cute is the boy? Managed to take some photos of Jes and Liam this weekend.. too cool for school!

by tashmcgill | May 27, 2006 | Uncategorized

For God’s sake and our own .. Abandon ‘normal’ .. Normal is a poison, a lie you could spend a lifetime pursuing and never find. Common sense is the path well trodden. It’s the path of duty and obligation. It’s the manner by which our dreams die, cast to the side of the path well-known. Common sense finds grown men caged by should and would have been, hoping for another chance when the first was squandered. It binds women into lives lived selflessly but also hopelessly.

What happens when a woman’s beauty becomes only that which is reflected in the achievements of her children, her ability to concieve, the fidelity of her husband, the envy of her friends, the power of her position, the economy of her words? A woman’s beauty should be in her strengths, in her grace and in her desire, as well as her desirability. Desire leads you to the life uncommon.

Wanting something outside of what is known, the divine knowledge of something skirting around the edges of our present realities – desire will drive us to pursue that which is out of the ordinary. It binds us up with courage when facing the uncertain. And it is Wisdom that more often that not, harkens “trust and leap, for the known is just as frightening as the Unknown”, when common sense says “stay.”

An Uncommon life begins in the same breath that the expected answer hesitates on the lips. We are an uncommon people, born to an Uncommon heritage of risk-takers, flirting with possible disaster at every turn – we have lived, and we will live again. Throw common sense on the way beside you. March on to that uncertain future. “Trust and leap..”